In-Person Singles Events Are the Cure to Your Online Dating Burnout

The Short Version: If dating’s got you down, don’t quit. You may just need one in-person event to change your outlook– and outcome. We talked to the founder & CEO of Flare Events about how the service is connecting singles for meaningful connections through dating events that are laid-back, friendly, and fun.

Online dating burnout is a real thing, and it can lead many daters to give up dating altogether. But like the kind of burnout we experience with work or school, dating burnout has specific causes– and ways to fix it.

With online dating, many of the interpersonal aspects of dating are stripped away. Instead of meeting people face-to-face, we’re often left with swiping through profiles and reading the answers to the same prompt over and over. 

Without the personal connection that dating brings, we get those burnout symptoms– you’re tired, you’re cynical, and nothing about dating seems to be going right. 

As convenient as online dating is, it can get tiring. And if you’re not going on great dates, or not going on dates at all, it can all start to feel a little purposeless. When this starts to happen, we don’t always need to take a hard break from dating.

Instead, we can rework our approach to make dating more personal, connective, and enjoyable, regardless of its outcome.

In-person dating events are one way to do that. We talked to Matthew Paoli, the founder and CEO of Flare Events, about what makes a great dating event and how in-person dating can get you out of burnout. 

While in-person events may be just what your dating game needs, you should choose a dating event that is right for you, and one you’ll be able to find success with. Matthew gave us the scoop on what to look for while you’re deciding between dating events and how Flare is offering an experience that few other agencies can deliver.

Along with in-person events, Flare offers a new kind of matchmaking. Unlike many traditional matchmaking processes, which are often exclusive and have a high price barrier, Flare is offering an automated matchmaking service that’s far more accessible.

“First and foremost, Flare is an off-app dating company,” Matthew told us. “Our singles events started off with our unique take on speed dating, and that eventually expanded into mixers. But all of it is about getting people face-to-face in a comfortable, accessible, and laid-back dating environment.”

Flare is based in Toronto and hosts events across major Canadian cities with the goal of creating authentic, off-app places for people to meet. While Flare hosts speed dating events, its approach to in-person dating events is different from the old-fashioned kind of speed dating you might imagine.

Matthew told us Flare’s goal is to create natural and approachable dating environments. If you’ve ever been to a speed dating event, you may not have vibed with the atmosphere. It could have felt like your conversations were unnatural and it was difficult to feel comfortable.

“We want to reduce those feelings of it being forced, or awkward,” Matthew explained. “We start each event with icebreakers, which could vary from cute little questions to jumping into an activity like mixology or axe throwing or sushi-making.”

The icebreakers and activities put everyone at ease and give them something to talk about other than speed dating. They take off a lot of the pressure that singles can feel at dating events and make it easier to be authentic.

The icebreaker convos and activities don’t just put people at ease. They also give you something to talk about with the other people there– a shared experience– that’s not simply the fact you’re both at a dating event. 

Some icebreakers are more popular than others, but Matthew told us that Flare events follow a formula that’s been designed not just to foster real connections, but to ensure that people feel comfortable while doing it. 

When Matthew decided to create Flare Events, he had a few motivations. But one of the biggest motivations was to fill a big gap in the market: in-person dating opportunities. 

I always encourage people to try online dating, and I personally know more than a few couples who are happily together because of online dating. This doesn’t mean in-person dating can’t be in your dating repertoire. By adding a diverse array of dating approaches, you can not only go on better dates, but also form friendships and communities in the process.

“So many people are just fed up with aspects of dating apps,” Matthew said. “So having other options is very empowering. We’re working toward making this one of the most successful and accessible dating services.”

Matthew wants Flare to revolutionize the dating landscape, and besides dating events, matchmaking is one way it’s doing that. Flare also offers dating coaching and matchmaking designed to be affordable for the average single.

Dating coaching and matchmaking could be the keys to unlock the next step of your dating journey, but they often come at a high price point. You may have a tricky time locating a great coach in your area, or maybe you can’t find a matchmaker you feel comfortable with.

Whatever your barrier is to matchmaking, Flare is trying to ease it. “In Canada alone, matchmaking is a $54 million market. The price points can be outrageous, and not every single needs that ultra-tailored personalized approach,” Matthew said.

Flare achieves this by automating parts of its matchmaking. Matthew told us Flare’s service is completely different from traditional matchmaking, but it offers something unique to daters. Matchmaking clients meet with a matchmaker, but the organization of the database, and how matches are made, is automated.

“We launched matchmaking in September of 2023, and we were setting up our database in a very detailed way so that when clients came to us looking for people, the algorithm made it easy to identify and connect with the best potential matches.”

Flare matchmaking clients have three packages to choose from, and all of them include one-on-ones with a matchmaker. The process is simplified, quickened, and kept affordable by Flare’s inventive use of AI.

“We’ve been slowly adapting to AI to help make the process more seamless,” Matthew said. “The algorithms help the service stay affordable and accessible, which are very important parts of the model for us. Matchmaking isn’t necessarily known for being accessible.”

When we aren’t comfortable, we can’t be ourselves, and when we can’t be ourselves, we can’t show up to dating in a meaningful way. Flare’s approach eases some of the discomforts that can come with dating and guides daters through more secure and enjoyable experiences.

Dating coaching is a great place to start if the thought of dating makes you uneasy. “Dating comes with a lot of social cues, interactions, and social norms, and it feels like they change annually,” Matthew said. “Not everyone just knows these things, and dating coaching can really help.”

Flare’s dating coaching can help you learn how to comfortably and appropriately approach someone you would like to ask on a date and provide info about stuff like the Law of Attraction and dating etiquette. With dating coaching, you get to decide what to focus on and your dating coach helps you with the dating concerns that matter most to you.

Flare dating coaches work with you to create coaching plans tailored to your needs and goals. Coaching is all about focusing on the future and making concrete plans to achieve short and long-term goals. Your coach is going to be an action-minded dating expert who’s ready for any and every question you may have.

While Flare’s offerings are a great fit for every kind of single, Matthew told us each is designed with neurodivergent daters in mind.

“I’m neurodivergent, I have autism,” Matthew said. “I have a background in marketing and I was naturally drawn to that when I was young– the art of conversation. It’s only when I got into the dating space I saw the opportunities.”

Matthew told us he could see how the structure of Flare’s in-person events would feel natural to some neurodivergent people. 

“There’s a rigid structure to speed dating, and a lot of neurodivergent people need that structure and benefit from it,” Matthew said. “Other neurodivergent daters may benefit from the mixers because they’re more fast-paced and have a mix of activities.”

The ultimate mission of Flare Events is to make in-person dating accessible and comfortable. If online dating is grating on you, or you’re not getting the personal connections you’re looking for from it, give in-person events a try. They could be all it takes to meet your special person.

“Flare is committed to redefining modern dating by focusing on meaningful, real-life connections,” Matthew said. “As we continue to innovate and grow, we’re excited to help even more people connect authentically—wherever they are.”