If a little digital birdie told you that you could find the love of your life online but it would require one hour a day of work five days a week for the next three months, would you agree to that schedule?
After all, you’ve been single for years now. Three months isn’t a lifetime sentence.
If that same digital birdie pointed out things in your LinkedIn profile that would prevent you from getting hired for your dream job, would you listen and eagerly make the changes? Probably yes.
It’s interesting to me that a lifetime of love, which will surpass a three-year job, isn’t taken as seriously for many online daters.
We’re talking happily ever after here, so a little digital diligence is really worth the effort.
Here are four tips to revise your online dating profile to attract the man or woman of your dreams.
1. Remove the disclaimer.
Including a disclaimer screams attitude and a bad one at that. We know you don’t want your photos exploited on the Internet. Your potential date feels the same way, too.
Unfortunately, I’ve seen too many profiles include sayings such as, “Don’t contact me if you’re into heavy drama” or “You don’t have permission to use my photos.”
These common disclaimers send the message you’re angry and aren’t easygoing. It’s too easy to click on the next profile.
“Revise your profile with a brand new
screen name and primary photo.”
2. Don’t talk about sex.
You’re a member of an online dating site, not an adult entertainment site.
Describing yourself as sexy will make you look narcissistic and self-absorbed. Talking about how you have a big sexual appetite will make you look like a sex addict or hookup prospect.
Men undress women with their eyes long before the clothes ever come off. Keep the online conversation out of the bedroom if you’re looking for a long-term relationship offline.
3. Dump the adjectives and cliches.
We know you enjoy beach walks, sunsets and holding hands. We also know you can go from jeans to black tie, but these sentences are overused and you’ll look like every other profile in town.
Every man is looking for that special one – someone who is unique and different. You can post photos wearing different outfits and he’ll get that you’re a versatile woman.
Better yet, talk about the time you took tango lessons and how you’d really like to improve your golf game, as your clubs are collecting dusting in your garage.
4. Change your screen name and photos.
Even the catchiest of screen names have a shelf life that can expire.
If your relationship ran its course and you’re back online again, you may not need an entire new profile. Just because he didn’t notice you a few months ago, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in dating you.
Revise your profile with a brand new screen name and change your primary photo to a more recent one.
Some online dating sites list the date your photo was uploaded. If it’s been more than one year, he might think you’ll be unrecognizable and take a pass.
Head over to Facebook and find a recent shot that will show how you look IRL, not how you looked before your last relationship.
If you make these subtle changes to your online dating profile, you’re inbox will start to fill up again and you’ll be on your way to ride into the digital sunset together.
What turns you off when reading an online dating profile?
Your comments are welcome.
Photo source: yimg.com.
The only reason I use adjectives to describe myself is because if I only comment on one or two things that I enjoy doing then I feel like I might miss out on an opportunity to attract a guy who is also interested in a “list” of things I talk about…Wouldn’t I go in detail with a guy about the things I like once we’re in person? Like, wouldn’t I just mention a variety of things for him to want to dive into later? Any advice would be great!!!1
A long-winded list of places or adventures you like to take isn’t pleasing to read. Do you enjoy reading lists of facts or opinions?
I think explaining one of your passions is attractive when you’re attempting to summarize your personality in a small text box. Who knows, if a guy sees how interested you are in skydiving, he may inbox you with a great first date idea
Thanks for your comment. I’ve found that being specific about your passions makes it easy for a guy to suggest a date with you that he thinks you’d enjoy. For example, I once mentioned that the Dine-in Movie Theatre was a favorite spot. As a result, my date saw it in my profile and asked me if there was one near where I lived so he could take me there. For one of my clients, I suggested that she include riding on the Ferris Wheel at a local amusement park. Not only did her date take her there for a second date, but it’s where they had their first kiss. They’re still together today.
The point is that you don’t want your profile to look like a business deal or not be unique. When all the profiles look the same, guys don’t see anything to spark their curiosity.
So I suggest keeping an adjective if you’re adventurous, but follow it up with where you like to hike. If you’re romantic, say so, but list your favorite romantic movie.
I am surprised to see that women actually need help getting attention from guys. I always thought they get tons of msgs daily! I have to admit though…I’ve been looking and I haven’t seen many profiles that really stand out. I do however give women the benefit of the doubt, but rarely get a response from anyone I can see myself having a relationship…
Sounds like more woman need to read this bit of advice if you’re giving them the benefit of the doubt, huh?
Hi Jared,
Yes it’s true that women get bombarded by men with emails, especially when their profile is brand new.
Understand that some women on paid sites are not premium members and they can’t write back to you.
I always instruct singles who are looking for love online to notice when the person they’re interested in has last logged in. If it’s been over a few weeks, chances are they’re not full members or might be in a relationship.
At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. Don’t give up hope and keep us posted on your progress.
Julie