Are You Too Intimidating To Men

Women's Dating

Are You Too Intimidating to Men?

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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In my professional and personal life, great single men looking to meet someone special constantly tell me they held back in approaching a woman they were potentially interested in because she seemed too intimidating.

Single women also tell me they are out and about and consider themselves open to love, but they are having trouble meeting men despite being surrounded by them.

It is all too common to think you are approachable, while men perceive that you are closed, unavailable or uninterested.

Clearly there is some sort of mismatch here if single men are saying they are uncomfortable approaching women who appear too confident or intimidating and single women are saying they wish they were approached more.

Confidence is vital for men and women alike.

It is so important to be authentic, open and confident in who you are and the energy you put out into the world. Your own strengths and positive qualities make you attractive, unique and exciting to potential partners.

It’s a great sign if you are single and view yourself as smart, independent, happy, successful and fun.

However, these very traits can make you seem too intimidating for a man to approach you if you are not consciously acting open toward meeting a great guy.

Men have the very difficult task of not only mustering up the courage to approach you, but they also have to strike up a conversation, think of something clever, charming or interesting to say and gauge your level of interest to know what their next move should be.

These men are looking to meet you and see if they have a connection with you. After connecting with you, traditionally speaking, it is their role to get your number, call you, ask for a date, pursue you, etc.

This is a lot of work, especially for all of the more reserved, introverted or shy single men out there.

“Use body language to create

openings for a man to approach you.”

In an effort to decrease the number of single men who tell me they passed up the opportunity to get to know a great woman due to intimidation, here are two important questions for women who are looking for love.

1. Are you sure you appear approachable and open?

Thinking that you are open might be different than actually acting like it. It is helpful to focus on feeling open and confident to ensure you are not appearing closed or guarded.

Although it can be nerve-racking to meet new people, especially single men, being vulnerable is necessary in creating and maintaining intimacy and love.

It is common to put up walls to protect yourself from pain, fear or rejection, but be aware these same defenses can get in the way of a great man approaching you.

2. How would you describe your body language?

Our body language is one of the major ways we communicate our feelings and who we are to others. It can be even more powerful than what we say with our words.

Gaining awareness about your body language will be useful in determining if you are putting out intimidating vibes. If you are unsure how others perceive your body language, ask a male friend to see what he thinks.

A smart and respectful man who is interested will look for encouragement from you to determine if he should approach you or hold back.

If you find yourself prone to crossing your arms, looking down or avoiding eye contact, it is likely men feel it is not in their best interest to meet you.

Use open body language and smile to create openings for a man to approach you. Embrace your inner confidence and smile to project a friendly and open vibe.

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