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Without changing who you are or approaching dating with a facade, you can do a lot to be more fun around men.
You may believe you have to be passive, wait for a man to approach you or ask you out or message you on Match or another dating app. Even if you haven’t shown a speck of interest.
Or you may question what you have to offer and feel tempted to impress him in inauthentic ways. Or you may be shy, quiet, or unsure of how to connect and showcase who you are. You may be looking for love, but also prefer to avoid the spotlight or being the center of attention.
All of the above concerns are valid. It’s natural to feel anxious about making a positive first impression or feel confused about how to bring out your fun side. However, it’s important to break down any internal barriers to better handle any insecurities interfering with the important role you play in forming a new connection. It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to be someone you are not to capture a man’s attention.
Here are five strategies to help you be more fun around men:
As much as you want men to find you fun and appealing, being inauthentic or fake is not the solution. Trying to be someone you are not to get a man’s attention or interest may wok temporarily, but you will be setting yourself up for a variety of problematic scenarios.
You are likely to feel bad about yourself, insecure about who you really are, and wonder if he would still like you if he knew the real you.
If you do manage to keep him interested over time, you will feel pressure to keep up your facade and face anxiety around revealing who you really are. This is a recipe for disaster and exhaustion (and an unhealthy relationship), so being authentic is the way to go. This entails being honest and real, getting comfortable with your imperfections, and getting in touch with your true self.
Authenticity is also about embracing who you are, quirks and all. We are often our own worst critics, so remind yourself you can be fun while being yourself.
Nudging yourself to take risks and move out of your comfort zone, for example, by approaching an attractive guy first, is healthy. However, forcing yourself to do anything that feels shameful or unbearably uncomfortable is not the right path forward. These types of actions will leave you feeling insecure and uncomfortable, and won’t result in you showing off your fun side.
Learn to distinguish between empowering yourself to go after what you want and forcing yourself to do something that isn’t true to who you are and the woman you want to be.
It’s also essential that you be mindful of your definition of fun. For instance, if dancing on the bar is not you, don’t do it. Instead, take the step of getting on the dance floor and letting loose a bit. If singing karaoke is not your style, and you need massive amounts of alcohol to sing in front of an audience, don’t force yourself in an attempt to impress him.
Focus on finding your fun side in realistic and reasonable ways. Consider what works best for your personality by accessing what feels fun to you and then take appropriate action to share this side of yourself. Again, your goal is not to change who you are or embarrass yourself in the process of getting this attention.
Most men are sensitive to visual cues in terms of attraction and arousal.
Not only is he more likely to notice you, but you will feel more confident if you put some effort into what you look like. This confidence will help you show off your fun and engaging side and make flirting more comfortable. Without dressing in anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or exposed, consider investing in a wardrobe that highlights your best features and shows off your unique style.
Remember that flirting is very much about visual cues as well.
Be sure to smile at him, and use appropriate eye contact. Also remember to take care of your personal health and hygiene. Smiling, locking eyes (but not for too long!), complimenting him, and using light touch are all important aspects of flirting, so try these behaviors to help promote attraction. Also, don’t be afraid to be silly and playful, or throw in a bit of sarcasm.
Bonus: Did you know wearing the color red can make him more attracted to you?
He’s bound to think you are fun to be around if he feels good about himself while in your company. Therefore, it’s important to communicate your interest in getting to know him through effective communication skills and appropriate body language.
Be curious and attentive so you can remember details and ask engaging and thoughtful questions. Show real interest in understanding his perspective and viewpoints, even if they differ from your own. You don’t have to agree with everything to foster a connection and enjoy each other’s company. In fact, agreeing on every little thing tends to feel more boring than fun.
The best, most lively conversations often come from sharing your passions with others. Therefore, if you want to be fun and interesting to others, you must invest in yourself and your own life.
This means giving your life meaning by developing your passions, strengths, talents, and hobbies. Spend time pursuing your interests and creating a life you love.
Take good care of yourself and practice self-kindness to ensure you can approach your relationships with positive energy and prevent burnout. As you grow as a person and live your life to the fullest, you will naturally become more attractive to men and be more confident, positive, and self-assured. This is a win-win.
Even bigger win: You may meet single, like-minded men by participating in a wide range of activities and opening yourself up to multiple interests.
Being more fun around men is about owning who you are and developing greater confidence so you are more open and comfortable sharing yourself with others. It’s about creating a life you love and facing challenges with a positive, resilient attitude. Take conscious actions to show him you are genuinely interested in him. Over time, you’ll feel more confident in your flirting abilities.
While you may feel shy or unsure of yourself at first, don’t be afraid to introduce him to your fun, engaging, quirky, and real self.
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