I Get Lonely. How Do I Increase My Luck in Dating?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’m a single, young-looking woman of 47. I don’t have a driver’s license, just a three-speed bike to get around to my GED classes and to the grocery store, then that’s all I get to do. I feel hopeless. I’m not having any luck at all in the love department, at least so far. I get lonely. All I have to keep me company is my computer and my TV.

Since I don’t have my driver’s license and a car, what could I do to increase my luck in the dating department? I’m on a fixed income and can’t really afford to spend $25 or more to keep paying for a membership. I sure do get lonely, and I would love to find and share my life with a special someone and eventually get married.

-Lisa P. (South Carolina)

Expert Answer:

Hi, Lisa.

Your story of loneliness and hopelessness is one shared by thousands of women. Ironically, it is a story also shared by thousands of lonely men who are dreaming, wishing and hoping for an independent, young-looking 47-year-old woman to pedal her bicycle into their lives.

It doesn’t take luck, a car or money to find love. It just takes energy, effort and a joyful spirit to get yourself noticed and in the game. You might get some good ideas from my article on “How to Get a Guy in 30 Days.”

It’s easy to feel like you are trapped in a silent movie, screaming at passers-by to look at you but no one notices. But you really can reach out and touch people.

The two most important things you need to cultivate right now are friends and happiness. Start with your GED classmates and instructors, even if they are 20 years younger than you. Don’t be obsessed with finding a boyfriend. Just think about meeting people and enjoying your life. Men are attracted to happy, confident women.

Put on a cute outfit, dab on a touch of lip gloss, and head to the supermarket or coffee shop. At those moments when you are out among people, walk with power, a big smile and your head held high. Stop being invisible.

Look people in the eye and greet them all — boldly and proudly. Being verbal will instantly connect you to the world. Keep your eyes open, as Prince Charming does not ride in on a white horse. He might be the guy stacking pork chops in the meat cooler or the gentleman who smiles as he holds the door for you.

You have to start seeing the opportunities all around you, Lisa. Take every invitation for coffee or drinks that you get, whether you think you have a romantic interest or not. Just get in the game.

Present yourself as a vibrant woman who is joyfully moving her life forward in a positive way. Never portray yourself as a victim. And make that three-speed bike sound like the lifestyle choice of a really cool lady, not like the symbol of your defeat.


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