How To Be A Sexy Midlife Woman

Senior Dating

How to Be a Sexy Midlife Woman

Michelle Johnson

Written by: Michelle Johnson

Michelle Johnson

Michelle Marchant Johnson is a writer, speaker and relationship coach who partners with single women who want to find love and romance. Go to to receive your complimentary "7 Attraction Principles" e-course, "Love Notes" newsletter and request a complimentary "Find Your Love" coaching session. Michelle found love at age 43 and is a breast cancer survivor who believes life is meant to be filled with love and passion.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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“There’s nothing tragic about being 50. Not unless you’re trying to be 25.” That’s what Joe Gillis said to Norma Desmond in the movie “Sunset Boulevard.” (Shortly thereafter, she shot him.)

Many women are startled at how fast the years have flown by and how quickly old “Father Time” sneaks up on them. It can be a revelation to see how much older your peers are looking these days.

In moments of painful honesty, you are forced to admit the effects of time in your own face and perhaps you feel it in your knees with every step you take.

Unlike Norma, the last thing you may be ready for is your “close-up,” especially in the world of dating.

When it frequently feels like looking in the mirror is a significant act of courage, it may seem laughable to consider you can actually feel sexy as a mature single woman. The mere thought can seem ludicrous.

There is also a cultural phenomenon which defines aging women as “old” and aging men as “distinguished.” It is almost enough to make you want to “act out” like Norma Desmond.

Many mature men are also interested in and able to attract younger women. It can feel intimidating, inauthentic, or scary to express your seductive side.

Sexiness is more about attitude than appearance.

It is fair to say we have all seen women who are not the youngest or most beautiful, yet they have timeless sex appeal.

I am not suggesting you sport an overtly sexy look (which can actually be aging). It is about feeling comfortable enough in your own skin to convey an image that is feminine, authentic and enthralling.

Having well-earned inner confidence is a good start. You set the tone for how you want others to treat you by how much you respect and value yourself.

Even though being sexy is not all about looks, you do want your outward appearance to be the most flattering reflection of who you are.

Begin with a baseline approach. This is not the time to focus on your flaws or failings. Rather, now is the time to give yourself credit where credit is due.

“There is no expiration date on your

ability to attract someone amazing.”

Consider your best attributes.

Look deeply into the mirror and see yourself beyond the wrinkles.

What are your best features? What are the characteristics people most frequently notice and compliment in you?

For example, many women in midlife and beyond have great legs. How about ditching those sensible shoes to rock a gorgeous pair of heels for an evening out on the town?

Do you have magnificent eyes or an inviting smile? Consider how you may be able to enhance your look with makeup, new eye shadow or by whitening your teeth.

It is easy to get stuck in a time warp. You may want to hit the reset button on your wardrobe choices or beauty routine.

What are you most proud of in your life?

What are the greatest gifts and lessons from your experience? What do you have to share with the world?

Ask yourself how you can center your life more fully on the things you love and are most passionate about. When you are avidly pursuing what is most meaningful, you are more likely to be centered, genuine and joyful.

This makes you interesting and appealing.

Most women who have more than a couple of decades behind them have been through some significant ups and downs. This can include disappointments and heartbreaks that come in an almost unlimited variety.

The upside is the wisdom and strength you gain through each experience. The downside is it can create bitterness or cynicism about love and life. This caustic “heaviness” can be serious man repellent.

When was the last time you did something just for fun?

Could your life use a big infusion of pleasure? A playful nature can be very sexy! Practice flirting by giving an attractive stranger a sincere compliment.

If you are feeling more daring, why not try a wink and a smile? Show genuine interest in other people. This helps take the focus off feelings of self-consciousness you may have.

Remember dating, love and romance are supposed to be fun. If you can approach social interactions and prospective love interests without being overly attached to the outcome, you will be able to relax and enjoy it more.

Find humor wherever you can, as a good hearty laugh can create amazing chemistry between two people.

Live your life in a way that brings you true happiness. Have compassion for and be forgiving of yourself and others. Enjoy the richness of your life more fully.

There is no expiration date on love and romance or on your ability to captivate and attract someone amazing.

Tell me: How do you plan on enjoying your golden years as a sexy single woman? I’d love to hear your tips!

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