Bad Chemistry Or Just Bad Sex

Women's Dating

Bad Chemistry or Just Bad Sex?

Boston Single Girl

Written by: Boston Single Girl

Boston Single Girl

Boston Single Girl is just a single girl dating in Boston and writing her true stories of the good, the bad and the ugly of single life. Reality is far more interesting than fiction! You can read her adventures at and make sure to follow her on Twitter @BostnSingleGirl and

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Ladies, let’s be honest: Sometimes the sex just isn’t good.

So what constitutes good sex? How do you know if it’s just bad chemistry or if it’s you?

The good, the bad and the truthful.

The definition of good sex is different for every person.

Some people like vanilla sex: missionary style and only in bed. There are people like me who will try anything sexual once – twice if we like it!

I find most people tend to fall somewhere in the middle.

No matter your sexual appetite and preferences, the absolute key to good sex is communication.

If you can’t communicate your needs and wants truthfully, then you aren’t likely to have mind-blowing, baby-you-just-rocked-my-world sex. Ever!

If you want him to throw you against the wall and bang you hard, then tell him that!


The second most important component to great sex is confidence.

Confidence is sexy and freeing. If you are confident in your own skin and desires, this will transcend into your sex life.

Some men just need a strong, dominant woman to put them on their knees and make them beg to touch her. Trust me, I speak from experience!

Bad sex happens even to the best of us. I’ve had my share of guys who just had no clue what to do with a woman’s body, but they thought they did.

They’d lick my face, slurp all over me and couldn’t find the G-spot if I gave them a compass and a map.

But I always communicated honestly with them about what it was that was drying me up rather than making me wet.

“Unless you get that feeling below,

you just won’t click in the sack.”

Oral sex do’s and don’ts.

Oral sex is such an important part of foreplay and sex in general. Plus it can be just as toe curling as getting railed, if done correctly.

The problem is most people (yes ladies, you too) either aren’t that into it or just have no clue.

When it comes to guys who are willing and capable of going down on a woman, the odds are stacked against us, ladies.

Don’t be afraid to tell him, or better yet show him, what you like and how you like it.

I’ve had a few guys that I’ve had to teach the difference between a clit and a chew toy!

With guys like that, I’ve had to take charge and be in control (i.e. throw them down and ride their face), which does not bother me one bit.

Sometimes this works and they take the hint. Other times a slap upside the head does the trick, too!

Don’t be afraid of the penis.

Make nice with it. Learn what feels good to him. Suck it up (pun intended) and learn how to give a great blow job, or at least a good one!

If you’re not that into giving head, climb on top of him, straddle his face and have at it. Sixty-nine is such a great position for keeping the control.

And once you’ve had enough, you can just slide yourself down onto his shaft and finish him off.

Bad chemistry or are you just bad at sex?

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes all of the confidence and communication in the world can still result in bad sex.

Why? It’s simple: There’s just no real sexual chemistry.

He can be the nicest, most handsome guy, but unless you get that warm feeling down below, you just won’t click in the sack.

Have you ever had a bad sexual experience?

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