If The Sex Is Bad Should You Stay

Women's Dating

If the Sex is Bad, Should You Stay?

Tamika Lanelle

Written by: Tamika Lanelle

Tamika Lanelle

Tamika Lanelle shares advice, opinions and thoughts with women about love, men, friends, family, style, money, sex and dating to inspire and encourage growth. For more information, visit www.tamikalanelle.com.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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The first time you have sex with your significant other is an anticipated, special moment, but what if the first time is terribly disappointing?

Terrible sex happens a lot, and it is also subjective. What is considered terrible varies from person to person, depending on what your past experiences have been.

There are a couple of ways I can approach this dating issue.

First, I blame you.

If you have been dreaming and fantasizing about the first time you have sex with your partner, your expectations may be too high and you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

It’s best to just go with the flow and be in the moment than have all these grand ideas in your head of how it will play out like a love novel.

Another problem could be we have too many people to compare our current partner to.

If he’s not blowing out your back or making it whistle like the last guy, then you will be disappointed if that’s what you like.

“His penis and your vagina aren’t going

anywhere, so get to know each other.”

 Second, I blame him.

If he is an underachiever, selfish or just doesn’t know what he is doing, then it’s a tragic situation.

With disappointing sex, you have one of two options:

  1. Take the time to have the uncomfortable conservation about how he is not satisfying you and begin to teach him what you like.
  2. Move on and find what you like.

I personally don’t have the time or patience to put in the effort. From what I’ve been told, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so if these are the moves he has, it’s probably as good as it gets.

However, if you are married to this person, then you have to make the effort and work with him.

Sex is such an intimate, vulnerable act and when you are in love with that person, it will be great (may not be the best you ever had, but it’s still good).

When you are in love, the emotional connection always makes the sexual experience great because it means so much more. To give yourself to somebody is the greatest gift you can give them.

My best advice is to never rush sex. Take your time and get to know the person first.

His penis and your vagina aren’t going anywhere, so slow down and get to know each other on an intellectual level. Make love to each other’s minds and the rest will fall into place for mind-blowing sex.

Ladies, have you ever been disappointed by a sexual experience? How did you handle it?

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