Erotic Blueprints™ Help You Understand Your Sex Life

The Short Version: Sex coach Stacie Ysidro thinks that harnessing the power of your sexuality is the deepest way to transform your life. Stacie talked to us about sex coaching, self-actualized experiences of sexuality, and how Erotic Blueprints™ can illuminate how you experience pleasure.

Growing up, we never talked about sex. Sex was almost a bad word, but not quite. The not-so-subtle and confusing messaging I received as a child in the Bible Belt went like this: Sex is generally bad, but sometimes it’s good if you’re married, and that’s all we’re saying on the matter.

Needless to say, I had to figure out a lot of things on my own. I could go on all day about the necessity of comprehensive sex education and all of its benefits; studies have shown it reduces sexual risk behaviors, STIs, and teen pregnancy.

But beyond keeping you safe, comprehensive sex education encourages you to think about your own experiences with sex and your sexuality. Without it, some of us don’t have the language to understand or talk about our sex lives.

Being able to talk about sex is the first step in having a better relationship with it. If you can’t talk about sex– or don’t know how– don’t worry. It’s never too late to learn and the sooner you do, the better your life and relationships will be.

Stacie Ysidro is a sex coach who helps people learn and use the language they need to lead self-realized and empowered sex lives. Stacie talked to us about her erotic blueprints and how she uses them to help clients explore their sexualities. 

When you step into the fullness of your sexuality, you’ll find that the way you seek and form relationships changes. 

By learning about your erotic blueprint, you’re not just strengthening the relationship you have with yourself. You’re also strengthening your relationship with your partner or any partners you may have in the future.

“What I found, and what created my passion, is that so many people need to hear that nothing is wrong with them, sexually,” Stacie said. “There’s nothing wrong with us. We’re not broken. We just don’t have all the information, we haven’t been given it, or we’ve been given the wrong information.”

Stacie’s practice is called Holistic Progressions, which she founded in 2010. Stacie has a diverse mix of personal and professional experiences that make her the perfect choice for people with alternative lifestyles seeking a sex coach.

Before discovering sex coaching, Stacie was a cosmetologist. “I realized what had made a difference in my life was all the coaching and mentoring I received during my career,” she said. “Not necessarily learning how to give a perfect haircut.”

Her cosmetology job brought many professional development opportunities, and through one of these opportunities, Stacie was exposed to business and life coaching. She decided to pursue certification and part of her training was finding a specialization.

“They take you through this whole process, and the themes in my life were spirituality and sexuality,” Stacie said. “And I knew that a lot of people were really uncomfortable talking about these two things, and I was comfortable with it.”

Stacie left her salon and pursued more training and education in sex coaching. She’s recognized as a sex coach by the World Association of Sex Coaches as well as being a Certified Erotic Blueprint™ Lead Coach.

When it comes to sex, one size definitely doesn’t fit all. That’s where your Erotic Blueprint™ comes in. The Erotic Blueprin™t was developed by JAIYA, a sex expert. Stacie was trained and certified by JAIYA in Erotic Blueprint and uses it every day to help clients get to know themselves on a deeper level.

“I’ve followed JAIYA since the beginning of my journey,” Stacie told us. “I was one of the first group of coaches that got certified for Erotic Blueprint.” 

The Erotic Blueprint™ gives us the layout for the five different blueprint types. JAIYA’s Blueprint lays them out like this:

• Energetic: “Bring deep emotional, physical, and spiritual depth”
• Sensual: “Bring incredible sensory, full-body consciousness”
• Sexual: “Bring the fun, passion, and play” 
• Kinky: “Bring never-ending heat, taboo, and creativity”
• Shapeshifter: “Bring dynamism, variety, and creativity”

The way Stacie sees it, we’re all shapeshifters. “We believe we’re all a mixture of all of them– we’re the shapeshifters,” she said. “We have stuff we like and don’t like, and that shifts over time.”

One of the three pillars of the Erotic Blueprint™ is the concept of phases and stages. Stacie explained it as the different stages of our life during which we desire different things. Sexuality and our experience of it is fluid and will go through significant changes throughout our lifetimes.

Along with the five paths for pleasure and the concept of stages, the idea of obstacles and pathways lay the foundation for the Erotic Blueprint™.

The three pillars of the Erotic Blueprints™ are the five different blueprint types, states and stages of sexuality, and obstacles to pathways. All of these together help us become erotic detectives.

“Maybe there’s a physical obstacle, maybe we’re physically healing from something,” Stacie explained. “It could be something biological or emotional.” Obstacles are anything that prevents you from entering pleasure, and by exploring your Erotic Blueprint™, you can learn how to carefully handle these obstacles.

The Erotic Blueprint™ gives you the language to understand the stages, obstacles, and pathways of pleasure in your life. The blueprint pushes you to investigate your experiences and desires so you can have more intimate and actualized sexual experiences.

“We can take obstacles and make them superpowers,” Stacie said. “The blueprint gives us the language so we speak to what’s going on.”

Stacie said people who come to her with a variety of concerns can find healing and answers in the Erotic Blueprint™.

“People come to us and they’re in a space where they know something is different, but they’re not sure what,” she said. “They’re interested in shifting their attitudes, ideas, values, and beliefs around sexuality, relationships, intimacy, and communication. The Blueprint gives us the language and tools to do that.”

When coaches are trained with a tool like Erotic Blueprint™, it’s a good sign you’re in a good place to work on embracing your sexuality. Choosing the right person for guidance about sexual health and sexuality is essential, and it’s important to know the differences between sex coaching and sex therapy before getting started.

Stacie’s coach training taught her the differences between sex coaching and therapy, along with the types of individuals and issues each can help with.

“They’re entirely different spheres,” Stacie said. “Therapy is the medicalized approach that focuses on the past helping people to come present. Coaching acknowledges the past is present, and it is future-focused without medicalization or pathologization.” 

Sex coaching gives you tools you can use to improve every element of your sexuality. But more than the tools, sex coaching gives you the language to openly and expressively talk about your sexual experiences. 

“One of the reasons I pursued Erotic Blueprint is because it’s such a fantastic teaching tool,” Stacie said. “I can give someone a resource for teaching and education that we can focus on, and use, and actually start a conversation.”

Your sexual health is just as important as your physical or emotional health; when you’re not doing well sexually, it will impact the rest of your health and life. Nurturing your sexuality is especially important when it comes to relationships, and it’s never too late to start.

“The quality of our lives is based on the quality of our relationships, which is based on the quality of how to navigate conflict,” Stacie said. “What we choose to do with what appears to us is going to determine that quality.”