Overcoming Dating Insecurities

Women's Dating

5 Things Confident Daters Do (That You Should Too)

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem. To connect with Rachel or to learn more about her psychotherapy and relationship coaching services, please follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Buy her book "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life" on Amazon.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Having insecure moments is a natural part of life. As we push ourselves to go after our goals, take social and emotional risks, make mistakes and try new things, we are bound to feel insecure at times.

As our healthiest selves, we are able to persevere through our insecurities, embrace our strengths, accept our limitations and keep moving forward even in the toughest of moments.

Many single women report insecurities can get in the way.

When meeting someone new, you actively put your best self forward, trying to make a great first impression and secretly hoping your new guy will not notice the qualities you do not like about yourself. Maybe it’s your height, weight, education level, job status or personality traits.

Does this sound like you? It is common to believe your new guy will notice your insecurities right away. This is because what you focus your attention on grows.

For example, if you are insecure about your height, you are likely to believe your date will be fixated on your height, too.

Most of the time this is not the case, but it feels true because your insecurities can weigh heavy and your mind can convince you they are more noticeable than they actually are.

It is important to remember you and your date are mutually invested in getting to know each other, and although he might appear confident and at ease, he most likely has some nagging insecurities, too.

Again, we all do, but it is how we handle them that contribute to our happiness and self-esteem.

Aside from any personal insecurities, many single women worry about whether or not he will call or ask them out again post-date, if a man is interested, how many other women he is dating or if he just wants to sleep with them.

These are all common worries, although they do not have to prevent you from dating and finding love.

“You are not alone

during anxious moments.”

Below are several strategies to boost your confidence and go after what you want in love despite the insecurities that are likely to arise as you date.

1. Embracing inner confidence.

The better you feel about yourself, the more worthy a partner you will attract and the more rewarding your dating and relationship life will be.

2. Working toward personal goals.

Volunteer for a meaningful organization, finish your degree, apply for the job you’ve always wanted and strive to be the happiest version of yourself.

3. Accepting weaknesses and limitations (that are unchangeable).

And continue to develop your positive qualities.

For instance, you can’t change your height, but you can take measures to feel attractive by wearing heels and embracing other attributes that make you beautiful.

If you feel bad about yourself because you are prone to procrastinate, make a commitment to complete tasks, develop strategies for self-motivation and organization and tune out distractions.

Continue to enhance your strengths and be proud of your accomplishments.

4. Committing to a workout plan.

Exercise is a healthy means to alleviating stress, taking care of your body and decreasing mental health symptoms. By releasing endorphins, you naturally feel better and less stressed, which makes you a more confident and fun date.

5. Relaxing and taking care of oneself.

By treating yourself well, taking time to relax, eating nutritiously, getting enough sleep and engaging in pleasurable activities, you increase your self-worth.

The better you treat yourself and the more you nurture yourself, the less your insecurities will be in the forefront of your life.

On the path to love, anxieties, worries and insecurities are naturally going to arise, so focus on growing as a woman and bringing your most confident self into new dating situations.

When the going gets tough, remember you are not alone during anxious moments and bring yourself back to enjoying yourself in the moment and letting your worries pass.

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