Shoulda Coulda Woulda Second Chances At Love

Women's Dating

Should’a, Could’a, Would’a: Second Chances at Love

Tamika Lanelle

Written by: Tamika Lanelle

Tamika Lanelle

Tamika Lanelle shares advice, opinions and thoughts with women about love, men, friends, family, style, money, sex and dating to inspire and encourage growth. For more information, visit

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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I’m all about progression and moving forward in life. For me, it’s all about the next step, opportunity, move, etc.

Looking back is only used for lessons learned. Reflecting on past experiences is for growing and comprehension purposes only, especially when it comes to past relationships.

When relationships end, it’s usually for a good reason.

However, what about the relationship that ended when you really didn’t want it to end or it never got to go where you wanted it to go?

Depending on where you were in your life during the relationship, you may not have been ready for a long-term commitment.

If you were young and immature, you may have played games or continued to see other people.

Maybe you simply didn’t know how to love someone else, put their needs to the forefront or make them a priority.

Lessons in love are sometimes the hardest lessons to learn. When we unintentionally hurt our significant other, we only hurt ourselves in the long run.

When we don’t take the time to cherish what we have with them, we end up with regrets, dreams deferred and a broken heart. Don’t let that be you.

“Should’a, could’a, would’a is all you are left

with when you don’t live every moment.”

Time garners understanding and experience brings change.

There are some things you may have to go through before you are ready to be in a serious relationship. You make mistakes, but you learn from them and become a better person because of them.

What is important is you acknowledge your mistakes and apologize for the hurt you may have caused.

Everyone doesn’t deserve a second chance at love. Sometimes the damage is too great and/or the wound is still fresh and you must be able to handle the possibility of that rejection.

Bruno Mars’ song “When I Was Your Man” is the ultimate relationship regret song.

The pain of having to give the person you love best wishes in their new relationship because you didn’t cherish and value them when you had them is the loneliest consequence.

Should’a, could’a, would’a is all you are left with when you don’t seize and live every moment. Don’t allow your ego and selfish ways to cause you to lose what you need the most.

Share your feelings, thoughts and yourself with them whenever you get the chance. It’s never too late for love.

Even if the relationship ended 20 years ago, tell them how you feel. You never know what could happen with your honesty and openness.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable in that moment. Even if they don’t feel the same way, at least you tried. You’ll never know unless you do.

Closed mouths don’t get fed. Don’t starve yourself.

Ladies, do you have regrets in your past relationships? If so, what are those regrets?

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