The Right Way To Break Up With Your Senior Mate

Senior Dating

The Right Way to Break Up with Your Senior Mate

Michelle Johnson

Written by: Michelle Johnson

Michelle Johnson

Michelle Marchant Johnson is a writer, speaker and relationship coach who partners with single women who want to find love and romance. Go to to receive your complimentary "7 Attraction Principles" e-course, "Love Notes" newsletter and request a complimentary "Find Your Love" coaching session. Michelle found love at age 43 and is a breast cancer survivor who believes life is meant to be filled with love and passion.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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“Lots of things can be fixed, but many times relationships between people cannot be fixed because they should not be fixed.” ~C. JoyBell C.

Have you reached that difficult moment in a relationship where you are forced to acknowledge that things are just not working out?

If so, you may be struggling about how to end it. It’s seldom easy to leave, whatever the reason. It’s also debatable whether it is worse to be on the giving or receiving end of the bad news.

Sometimes both parties arrive at the conclusion simultaneously and recognize the relationship has run its course, but more often than not, one partner arrives at this decision before the other.

When making a choice about breaking up with someone, there are several key things to consider.

1. Make sure you are actually ready to take this step.

Many people regret having acted in haste and wish they had given themselves more time to analyze their decision to end a marriage or love affair.

Once you have given someone their walking papers, it is unlikely their pride or pain will ever allow them to take you back. Breaking up is often final and can’t be undone.

Although you likely can’t escape without causing some anger, disappointment or heartache, there are things you can do to make your exit in a graceful and classy way.

“While it might be nice to remain

friends, this is not always possible. “

2. Less is often the more tactful approach.

When it’s truly over, there is little to be gained by recounting the faults, failings or flaws of the one you are leaving.

Stand firm in your resolve and avoid lengthy discussions, arguments and the long, drawn-out appraisals of all the things that have gone wrong.

Rehashing the offenses of the past will not change anything. Your departure from a long-term relationship may require some explanation for closure to be complete, while a newer relationship may be more easily dissolved.

If the breakup is a result of cheating or another kind of betrayal, you may be inclined to express rage or to indulge your deep, dark revenge fantasies, but resist the urge to do so.

You may want to make a dramatic, door-slamming departure, but a quiet one often provides the clearest message.

On the other hand, you may be ending things simply because your feelings no longer justify staying in the relationship. If you care deeply about the person, try to handle the situation with kindness.

3. Your final script might sound something like this:

“You and our time together have meant so much, but I now realize the feelings I want to have in a romantic relationship are just not there for me. I have promised myself I will always be honest about this and have decided we have to go our separate ways. I am truly sorry.”

While it might be nice to remain friends with a former lover, partner or spouse after a breakup, this is not always possible.

It will probably be necessary for some time to pass and for emotions to settle before clearer heads can prevail.

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