The Hidden Benefits Of Blind Dates

Women's Dating

The Hidden Benefits of Blind Dates

Jackie Pilossoph

Written by: Jackie Pilossoph

Jackie Pilossoph

Jackie Pilossoph is the creator of the blog Divorced Girl Smiling. She is also the author of the comedic novel "Free Gift with Purchase," about dating after divorce. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter for the Pioneer Press, with the monthly column, “Heart of the North Shore,” as well as a regular Huffington Post Divorce blogger. She lives in Chicago with her family. Her next novel, "Divorced Girl Smiling," will be released in the fall of 2013.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Your girlfriend’s sister tells you about this great guy she thinks you should meet.

Immediately you go on her Facebook page to check him out. The second you see his picture, you decline the offer to be set up, trying your best to avoid bad blind dates.

Or, even worse, he doesn’t have a Facebook photo. You agree to the date and the minute you walk into the restaurant and see him, you feel frustrated that you now have to spend the next hour having dinner with a guy who has absolutely no chance of turning into your boyfriend.

Having been on dozens of blind dates in my lifetime, both as a young person before marriage and as a divorced woman in my 40s, I can tell you these scenarios are very familiar to me.

However, I’ve come to realize something that never dawned on me until a few years ago:

Bad blind dates have hidden benefits.

People think if you don’t immediately feel a major spark, or if the thought of kissing your blind date is repulsive, then the date was a complete waste of time.

They think they’ve lost precious free time when they could have been working out or getting their hair highlighted or paying bills or having a drink at a bar with a girlfriend, where they could have possibly met the perfect man.

In my opinion, it’s this attitude that prevents men and women from finding love.

Let me explain the hidden benefits of giving Mr. Not So Right (and other bad blind dates) a chance.

“Next time he’s not resembling Bradley

Cooper enough, don’t discount him!”

1. The attraction can grow (with an open mind).

Upon the sight of him, when your gut instinct says, “No way can I see myself kissing this guy,” tell your gut instinct to shove it!

Keep your mind open. Look at his features.

He might be short, but he might have a great smile. He might be not be as muscular as Ryan Gosling, but he might have pretty eyes or a warm, genuine laugh that makes you feel good.

When I was in my mid-20s, I got set up with a guy who came to the door to pick me up and I was really disappointed when I saw him.

Halfway through dinner, we began to have an amazing conversation. By the end of the night, I was in love! We ended up dating for a long time.

2. He could become your friend.

You know the old saying, “You can never have too many friends”? I say, “You can never have too many single guy friends.”

These guys know other guys! They can introduce you to other single men. They can fix you up.

You could become platonic friends and start meeting out at concerts or for dinner with groups. That is THE BEST way to meet someone!

Plus, friends enrich our lives. Every time I meet someone new, male or female, I feel like I learn something or feel good in some way because of that person.

It can be a hobby he has or his job that is interesting, or he can make you laugh so hard all night that your cheeks hurt.

Or he can tell you about some past relationship that will enlighten you in regards to your own dating experiences. Nothing bad ever comes from new friendships.

So the next time someone tries to set you up, and you see his photo and he’s not resembling Bradley Cooper enough, don’t discount him!

Focus on the hidden benefits and the blind date could turn out to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you!

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