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The Short Version: Gender roles have changed significantly over the last century, as women climb corporate ladders and experience more professional success. Dating Coach Lana Otoya helps those successful women when they want to find someone to share their lives with. She starts by teaching clients how to connect with their strong feminine energy. That can help them attract high-quality men into their lives for relationships and love.
Gender roles have changed dramatically over the last century altering how and when women approach relationships. According to a Pew Research report, 30% of American women are single, and they are more likely to be single during the later years of their lives.
Today, women often decide to put their love lives on hold to focus on their careers. They may start their own business or climb the corporate ladder at a successful company.
But after a while, that work life can get lonely. Women may want to connect with someone who understands their goals and complements their personality. That’s when Dating Coach Lana Otoya, Founder of Millennialships Dating, often steps in to help.
As an Author, Matchmaker, and Dating Coach, she knows what it’s like for women who want to attract successful, confident, mature, and independent partners.
Now, it’s more common for women to excel professionally and postpone romantic relationships — including starting a family — until they’re established in their careers. The problem is, that independence can be intimidating to men who seek to balance their masculine energies.
“A lot of women, myself included, fall into the masculine side. These are the go-getter, aggressive types,” Lana told us. “When women are in a position of power, they sometimes have trouble finding value in their feminine side. They don’t even know what their feminine side is.”
Lana’s books, online courses, and one-on-one coaching sessions focus on helping women reconnect with themselves. She teaches strong women how to tap into their feminine energy and find balance in a relationship with an equally strong partner.
Lana’s career as a dating coach began when a matchmaking firm hired her to write for its dating websites. She wrote dating articles, learned more about the industry, and provided advice to both singles and couples.
When she became a matchmaker, she saw the inside of the industry — including the struggles and goals of people who were ready for love but so far had been unsuccessful. One problem stood out to Lana: Successful women were having trouble finding single men who complemented their wealth and professional drive.
“That was the biggest issue I saw in the high-end matchmaking service,” she said. “There was a gap that needed a bridge, and that inspired me to take my blog in a new direction.”
She began sharing what she had learned working in the industry over the years in her Millennialships Dating blog. Today, she focuses on four main themes: how to attract men, finding high-quality partners, online dating, and the emotions that surround dating.
In one of her blog posts, for example, Lana addresses how to identify the tell-tale signs that a man doesn’t care enough about a woman. Lana encourages women to create boundaries and maintain standards in their lives. She also discusses how to let go of those who don’t live up to her expectations. A lack of communication is often at the heart of the problem.
“If you don’t know what is making your partner angry, frustrated, lonely, desperate, happy, etc., then how can you possibly know how to work together with them every day?” she wrote in the post. “If you notice that he has stopped listening to you, this is a giant sign that he doesn’t care enough about you to keep the relationship strong and healthy.”
Lana also works directly with women who are ready to bring a quality partner into their lives. She said she sees women of all ages, but primarily millennials between the ages of 30 and 40. Her clients are successful in their careers, and many of them work in male-dominated industries, including medicine, finance, and STEM fields.
“Nowadays, women are caught up with being successful in their careers. That’s normal and wonderful, but they’re working very hard to climb up the ladder to success,” Lana said. “They hit 30 and start realizing that it would be great to have a family and a partner.”
Those women recognize that they have limited time to settle down and start a family, which is often the only thing they find missing in their lives. Clients who want to hire Lana as a coach must first complete a screening process.
Lana schedules calls with potential clients to understand their goals and opinions on feminine energy. Not everyone likes the idea of working with their feminine energy, but Lana said she has seen plenty of success with her strategy.
“I think it’s natural and primal that there are masculine and feminine energies in the world, and that’s what women want,” she said. “They want to find men who are more masculine.”
By masculine, she isn’t talking about aggressive or violent, she said. Instead, it’s more about being a mature, fully realized man rather than a boy. Masculine men feel confident asking a woman on a date, planning the date, and maybe even opening the door.
Lana said traditional roles don’t have to mean an equality imbalance, and they can allow the woman the joy of relinquishing her tight grasp on the wheel. Women who are used to making all the decisions are often surprised at how good it feels to have someone else take the lead.
Lana speaks from first-hand experience. Unlike many other matchmakers and coaches, she said she knows what it’s like to spend an evening swiping on a dating app only to have potential chats go nowhere. After all, she met her partner on Tinder.
“All of us land naturally on this spectrum whether we are male or female. It has nothing to do with gender but everything to do with energy,” Lana said. “Learning where you naturally land is important because you can figure out what part of your life is missing. It’s not about changing who you are, but adding a side that’s a little bit lacking.”
Along with one-on-one coaching, Lana offers a self-paced online course that explains her strategy for attracting high-quality men into women’s lives. It can be challenging for some women to work with their feminine side, but Lana compares it to a magnetic pull. The further you are on one side of the spectrum, the stronger the force is from the other side.
Women are often rewarded professionally for achieving success in a corporate culture that is still predominantly masculin. That means it can be hard to let go of being assertive, confident, and goal-driven. But Lana said that a woman who can get in touch with her feminine side can attract a strong man.
“This is a path to find someone who will take the lead,” she said.
If you’d like to learn more about exploring your feminine energy, click here.