Valentines Day Date Ideas For Lesbians

Lesbian Dating

12 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Lesbians

Pamela Gort

Written by: Pamela Gort

Pamela Gort

After two long-term relationships and five years of dating, Pamela Gort, The Lesbian Love Coach, spent years synthesizing the most effective and relevant dating and relationship practices into five easy steps called “Find Her and Keep Her" specifically tailored for lesbians. Using her warm, funny, direct coaching style, Pamela guides single lesbians to fall in love with themselves so they can attract and keep conscious, lasting, and loving relationships.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Valentine’s Day is a special day that represents a celebration of love for everyone, including us lesbians. We want to celebrate our love whether we’re just dating or in a serious committed relationship. 

How do you typically celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you go all out? Or is it a day that you’re happy is finally over? I am here today to share with you some fun, interesting and less traditional dates.

Saddle up to The Lesbian Love Coach bar and listen to what I have in store for you and your special someone. 

1. Cook At Home Date

What is her favorite meal? Cook with a focus on what will involve her senses – especially smell and taste. Incorporate red-colored foods that keep with the valentine theme. You can try strawberries, tomatoes, radishes, grapes, watermelon, pomegranate, apples, red peppers, a rare fillet, lobster, red cabbage, or, my personal favorite, raspberries. 

Photo of two women cooking
Cooking at home is an intimate and affordable date idea.

You could make the entire meal out of red-colored foods. That’d be a fun and memorable meal. When it comes time for dessert, blindfold her and slowly feed her one bite at a time. Ask her to describe how it tastes, smells, and feels in her mouth. Ooh la la.

2. A Sensual Date

Riffing off the cook-at-home idea, you could plan an entire evening in the bedroom, showering your woman with a sensual experience. Start with a full-body massage and move to a taste experience in which you offer her small bites of food while she is blindfolded. Ask her to notice the food’s texture, taste, smell, temperature. Then use a variety of items (silk scarf, feather, soft brush, rose petal) gently “grazing” them against her skin to provide a tactile experience.  

3. Outdoor Picnic Date

This date, too, can incorporate red-colored foods to keep with the theme, but, of course, it’s optional. At least have a red-checkered tablecloth and lay out a spread of her favorite foods at a park, the beach, your backyard during the day or under the stars. Bring a blanket to lay on and share your thoughts about love and commitment. Write her a poem and read it to her when she least expects it. 

4. Zoo Date

Who doesn’t love the zoo! There are many animals that exhibit love and mating rituals similar and even far more dramatic than those of humans. Take your sweetheart to the zoo and be sure to visit some of these animals. Learn a bit about them and take the lead from their mating rituals. Ask your date what she thinks about these rituals. 

Did you know that the beautiful albatross takes almost 10 years to start their relationship? Interestingly, they won’t rush into a relationship. They dance with many partners until they choose a special one for their whole life. Elephants make long-lasting relationships with their loved ones. They are very emotional and romantic animals and show their love to partners with romantic cuddles by entwining their trunks.

5. Watch Romantic Movies

Most of us have favorite rom-coms that we could watch over and over. What about the best steamy, lesbian romantic movies? These will most certainly get you in the mood to show your girlfriend how much you mean to her. Make yourselves comfortable on the couch with a cozy blanket, hold hands, and start watching. You could do an entire week of watching one movie at a time. 

Photo of a movie date night
Curl up and watch a movie with your lesbian partner this Valentine’s Day.

Think of what that would do for your relationship, especially your sex life. Some of my favorites are “Go Fish,” “A Perfect Ending,” “Tell It To the Bees,” “Cloudburst,” and “Tru Love.” For more favorites check out this list.

6. Pamper Her Night

Consider spending an evening pampering your partner, especially if she works long hours or is on her feet a lot or travels regularly. Prepare her bath with essential oils, candles, sexy music, appetizers, and wine. Sit quietly in the room with her feeling the relaxation. After the bath, give her a nice foot massage and then explore her body with a feather. Ask her to keep her eyes closed so she can focus on the sensual experience. 

7. Fancy Dinner at a High-End Restaurant

Make this a time to dress up and go big showering your girl with a beautiful dinner. Go to a restaurant you’ve never been to. Pre-order so your date doesn’t have to think about anything. Make sure the desert is something decadent and chocolate if that’s her thing. Feed her with little bites and keep the experience lingering. When you get home, you might want to have a surprise waiting like rose petals leading to the bedroom. 

8. Fondue Dinner Date

If you have one, a fondue set is a great way to make a special meal. Who doesn’t love cheese and chocolate? If not, there may be a local fondue restaurant. The Melting Pot has locations all over the U.S. and they even have three- and four-course fondue dinners you can order ahead. What I like about fondue is it is a sensual experience where you are cooking your own food and you could even feed each other. 

If it gets a little messy, that is where the fun starts. It is a truly interactive experience like no other, and you will savor the memory for a long time. From the initial cheese course where you dip pieces of bread to the entrée course dipping meat in hot oil to the final desert course with cake and fruit dipped into warm chocolate, it is a fun way to experience food. I will never forget my first time in college making fondue with friends.

9. Serve Her Breakfast in Bed

This year, Valentine’s falls on a weekday so get up extra early to prepare for it. You know her favorites (I hope) so either buy local pastries that she loves or prepare her favorite omelet or pancakes. Bring in the tray laden with fresh coffee or tea and surprise her with breakfast in bed.  Maybe you plan in advance to play hooky from work, if that is an option, and stay in bed the entire day. 

10. Take The Love Languages Quiz

Take The Love Language Quiz and ask your woman to take it. Make note of her top three love languages and be sure to focus on them today and every day. Does she love quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation or physical touch? These are the ways she most feels love so this is how you can best communicate it to her. 

The author, Gary Chapman, wrote the book to help couples strengthen their relationship. Each of us differs in the way we receive love so when you know your partner’s top love languages, you can best give them love the way they like to receive it.

Think of love languages like a key to that special someone’s heart. One of the best gifts you can give a partner is to communicate love the way they best receive it.

If her love language is “gifts” then purchase something that she will remember this day by. The other gifts require only your words, time and presence that are often not communicated on a regular basis. 

11. Movie Night at the Theater

Theaters are opening up across the U.S., and mask guidelines are in effect in many places, so it could be a fun night out. Choose a rom-com to get your imagination flowing or maybe an action movie you’ve both been wanting to see. Make it fun and get a tub of popcorn to share. Hold hands and cuddle. After the movie, go grab a drink and talk about your favorite scenes from the movie.

12. Try an Escape Room

If you like puzzles and working together to solve problems, you and your lesbian date may enjoy an escape room date night for Valentine’s Day. These entertaining game spaces put people’s intellect and observation skills to the test, and it can be a nice way to improve your communication skills and strengthen the teamwork in your relationship. PanIQ runs escape rooms in cities across the U.S., and you don’t need any special knowledge to participate.

Make This Valentine’s Day One You’ll Remember

What if you are dating casually? You may not know whether this is your special person, but you can still go have fun on this romantic holiday. A box of chocolates or a dinner date doesn’t have to be an expression of undying, forever love but more of a “I really like you” thing.

The most important thing is to make it fun and show your girl affection with compliments, hugs, kisses, and maybe a small gift or special date night. Our Valentine’s date ideas for lesbians range from no cost to more expensive. Choose whatever works for you and let us know how it goes.

And remember: Valentine’s day is just one day. Make it special by being fully present with your woman. Focus on her. Try to find ways to keep the feeling of this day going all through the year. If we treat her every day the way we do on Valentine’s Day, then I believe our relationship can make it through most of life’s challenges. Happy Valentine’s Day!