Sexting The Risks Consequences And Rules

Men's Dating

Sexting: The Risks, Consequences and Rules

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Advertiser Disclosure

If you didn’t know what sexting was before Anthony Weiner tweeted a picture of his, um, wiener to a young woman, you probably do now. Simply stated, sexting is sexual texting. It usually consists of words or images sent between cell phones, but social media like Twitter and instant messaging or email could also be employed.

No one has much problem with a few lusty remarks between adults in a mature relationship, but a great deal of the sexy texting today is between high school and even junior high school students.

There are some things to consider before jumping into this mad fad.

The Internet is forever.

Cell phone texts are easily erased and are generally not dug up from phone records except for, perhaps, a criminal investigation. But anything that goes out over the Internet might leak into the public domain and stay there throughout your career and beyond.

The indiscretions of youth, or even middle and old age, might not be something you wish to follow you through life and hold you back from a good job, public office or a great relationship.

Even with cell phone texts and pics, you don’t always know who you can trust.

Will your girlfriend save your sexts and show them to your next girl once you move on? Will the guys share those private photos with their buddies? Will someone else use the phone and find messages that were never meant for their eyes?

There seems to be no end to the possible downside of X-rated texting.

Know your recipient.

The advent of social media has now literally put millions of women within reach of your fingertips (or thumbs, if your a thumb texter). It may be hard to resist some nasty banter from an online babe, but you don’t really know the age, gender or intentions of the sender. It could even be a trap.

Also, be very careful of any photos or messages you receive. If you don’t know the sender personally, you would be well-advised to delete them immediately. If the person in the photo or on the other end of the conversation happens to be under age, you could be in possession of some seriously illegal material.


“If you don’t want to join the Anthony Weiner Hall of

Shame, you should be careful about who you sext.”

Sexting etiquette.

The best advice for those who can’t resist the urge to sext is to keep it discreet and not too explicit. Hard core, graphic texts and photos are difficult to explain later on. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t want your next girlfriend or future wife to see it, don’t send it.

Another good rule: Don’t sext with a woman unless you are involved in a sexual relationship with her. It is much easier to explain why you were involved in such a conversation with a woman you’re intimate with than it is to explain such language between a casual acquaintance.

Furthermore, if you get too free with your responses, you might go past the point that is acceptable to the woman on the other end and damage a friendship. You might even find that a whole group of her friends will turn on you.

Guys should also remember to let the woman be the first one to introduce sexual language into the conversation. You’re less likely to go too far if you are following her lead, as long as you don’t kick it up a notch.

The scarlet texter.

You might also discover that you lose a little respect for the girls who sext with you. You may indeed want to date them, but you will probably have one purpose in mind. It may be fun and exciting, but you may relegate them to your “sex only” list.

Chances are, they don’t belong on that list and were just having fun with you, but you no longer think of them in the same way.

There could be unwanted results for you too, if you think a woman will be impressed with a snapshot of your joy stick. If you don’t want to join the Anthony Weiner Hall of Shame, you should be careful about who you sext with and keep the content as close to PG-13 as possible.

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