Should You Give Online Dating Your All

Men's Dating

Should You Give Online Dating Your All?

Sam Stieler

Written by: Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Advertiser Disclosure

Lots of single men spend an incredible amount of time frequenting online dating websites. These men use online dating as their primary method for meeting women and for seeking out hookups, girlfriends and even wives.

Rather than leaving the house and trying to meet women in person, they make all of their introductions and develop all of their relationships online. This is a problem.

Why men fixate on online dating.                              

Men who spend all of their time and dating energy online do so because they are too intimidated by meeting women in the real world.

Yes, this is a vast overgeneralization. Yes, there are times when a man really might not have enough time to meet women offline. And yes, there are some men who have already put in their time successfully meeting women offline and who know for a fact the online approach produces superior results for them.

But most of the men who pin all their hopes on online dating sites do so because they are too scared to meet women offline. Plain and simple.


“Online dating provides an effective

supplement to meeting women offline.”

Why focusing exclusively on online dating is a mistake.

No matter how good you are at crafting an attractive profile, writing out opening messages, and engaging in IM chats, and no matter how good you are at the mechanics of meeting women digitally, eventually you will need to meet this flesh-and-blood woman in person.

Not only that, but you will also need to develop attraction with this woman in person. And some day, you might even want to share some old-fashioned analog sex with this woman.

All of these actions require a well-developed sense of confidence that no amount of digital conquests will provide you with. Most of the feelings of personal poise you experience in front of your computer will melt away in front of your woman.

The best way to develop confidence and comfort with an in-person feminine reality is to confront that challenge, in person, on the regular. And you just can’t do that when every single one of your flirtations are buffered through the digital abstraction of an online dating website.

Do online dating sites have any value?

Absolutely! Online dating offers men the chance to meet all sorts of interesting, attractive, highly eligible women they wouldn’t otherwise encounter in their day-to-day lives.

Online dating gives you the opportunity to slowly develop attraction and a positive relationship with a woman who may be too busy or too cautious to go out with a stranger who approaches her on the street or in a bar.

Online dating provides you with a great tool for meeting a wide variety of women who you know are looking for the same thing you’re looking for.

But online dating should rarely be your main tool for meeting women, and it should never be your only tool for getting dates.

Online dating provides an effective supplement to meeting women offline, but it should never be considered a viable substitution for developing the real world skills you need to succeed in the sort of real world relationships we’re all aiming for.

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