Women's Dating

3 Secrets to Keeping Your Man in Your Bed (Part 1)

Dan & Mike

Written by: Dan & Mike

Dan & Mike

ASK Dan & Mike is the creation of authors and relationship experts Dan Lier and Mike Lindstrom. They host live events and appear regularly on national television as the authorities of how men and women communicate with each other. Follow them on Twitter, like them on Facebook, or visit their YouTube Channel.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Advertiser Disclosure

We coach thousands of people every year in their relationships, and one of the most popular questions we get from the ladies is, “How do I keep my man into me and not be another cheating statistic?”

As two straight male experts, the ladies are always eager to step into our complex male brains during our live events to uncover the answer to this great question.

Below are some of our top tips on how to keep your man in your bed.

Secret #1: Keep him on his toes.

The old saying, “Variety is the spice of life,” is so true in relationships.

Men get bored quickly, in every sense of the word, so make sure to mix things up on him from time to time.

From the places you frequent to your routines in the bedroom, this will keep him wondering what is next and this is HUGE for guys.

One tried and true trick is the “ambush.”

Men love to be surprised with sex or making out. Show up somewhere when he is least expecting it and surprise him.

We had a married couple at our event and his wife was notorious for adding things to his online business calendar they shared.

She would randomly see an open window on his calendar during his work day and she would type in, “Come home and have sex with wife at noon.”

We love this move and are big proponents of this type of ambush. Just try it, ladies.


“If your text messages indicate the ‘hunt’ is

over, he might be on to the next one.”

Secret #2: Calm confidence.

Men love a confident woman and can sniff out an insecure or jealous female from miles away.

It is important in dating or in a relationship to always maintain your own identity, self-worth and self-esteem.

A confident woman that has the swagger that reeks of “I don’t need you” is a turn-on for men.

There is a moderate balance here because if you take it to the extreme, it can be a turn-off.

Let’s face it, men have fragile egos and want to be needed, but they definitely don’t want you up in their grill asking about their every move either.

Secret #3: Text flirting.

We have done many recent events for single men and overwhelmingly they tell us how much it keeps them interested and attracted when the woman sends flirty or suggestive texts unexpectedly.

Very important to remember here: If you are in the dating phase, men love the chase or the hunt, so if your text messages indicate the “hunt” is over, he might be on to the next one.

As a rule of thumb, you want your text messages to be flirty and keep him looking forward to the next time you are together.

Be careful NOT to be too crass or X-rated in your messages because many men view this as trashy, especially when you are in the courting phase.

If you are married, then let it rip and keep your man’s head filled with sexy visuals. Men are visual creatures, so paint the picture in your messages.

Which secret are you going to use the most?

Photo source: visualphotos.com.

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