He is Still Active On His Dating Profiles. Am I Wasting My Time?

Gina Stewart
Gina Stewart Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

I’ve been seeing this guy now for five months that I met online through POF. We spend a lot of time together, but he is still active on several online dating sites. He also refers to me as his “golf buddy.” He’s told me he has feelings for me but is afraid to commit.

Am I wasting my time? Should I take that as a sign “he’s just not that into me”?

-Ashley (Nebraska)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

Remember when you had your first day of school and the teacher set up the expectations of what you’d have to do to get an A or B? You knew what you had to do if you wanted to get credit for the class, and you either did what you needed to or you failed.

You need to establish your own expectations to how you expect to be treated and give him the choice to be the man who can meet those expectations or not.

If he chooses no, then he’s just not that into you and you don’t need to waste any more time. After five months, this guy knows you well enough.

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