He Says I Pressure Him to Live Together and Have Kids. What Do You Think?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Reader Question:

My name is Marie and I am 40. I have been with a guy for nearly two years. I want to live with him and have kids, but he said I keep pressuring him. According to him, things will happen naturally.

What do you think?

Marie (London)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Marie,

I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear. But I am going to tell you what you need to hear.

This man has no fertility window so he can wait for things to happen “naturally.” For you, your chances of babies happening naturally are growing smaller each month. You have every right to want to be a mother and every right to ask for a commitment from this man. But words won’t do it. Only an action-based ultimatum will work.

Tell him clearly he has 90 days to figure out if he is ready to commit to a family with you. Do not mention it during that time. If he doesn’t step up to the plate, you have to break up with him. Find a guy who wants to commit. (Strategies are in my book The 30-Day Love Detox) You have to be very clear about what you want and move quickly. This man may not be the guy for you.

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