Is it OK to Have Some Secrets?

Bethany Heinesh

Written by: Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Women often ask if they are required by some relationship rule or dating devotional to tell their man every little thing. We wonder if it is OK to have secrets, to keep certain parts of our lives private. Because women are so naturally open and communicative, we often feel we are being dishonest if we are not completely forthcoming. This is not necessarily true.

Although secrets usually create dilemmas, no matter what their context, they are particularly distressing when we keep them because we have done something shameful, disloyal or embarrassing.  If you have cheated, lied, stolen or committed a crime, secrets may seem completely necessary and justifiable, but they are dangerous. One lie begets another and soon enough, your entire life is a sham. These kinds of secrets not only have the potential to harm those they were intended to protect, they will imprison you and hold you hostage with guilt.

Remember, what is done in the darkness will always be brought to the light. On the other hand, if you spent $500 on a pair of shoes, ate an entire carton of ice cream when no one was looking, or played hooky from work, and you are perfectly OK with keeping that information to yourself, have at it, sister!

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