Is it OK to Have Some Secrets?

Bethany Heinesh

Written by: Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Women often ask if they are required by some relationship rule or dating devotional to tell their man every little thing. We wonder if it is OK to have secrets, to keep certain parts of our lives private. Because women are so naturally open and communicative, we often feel we are being dishonest if we are not completely forthcoming. This is not necessarily true.

Although secrets usually create dilemmas, no matter what their context, they are particularly distressing when we keep them because we have done something shameful, disloyal or embarrassing.  If you have cheated, lied, stolen or committed a crime, secrets may seem completely necessary and justifiable, but they are dangerous. One lie begets another and soon enough, your entire life is a sham. These kinds of secrets not only have the potential to harm those they were intended to protect, they will imprison you and hold you hostage with guilt.

Remember, what is done in the darkness will always be brought to the light. On the other hand, if you spent $500 on a pair of shoes, ate an entire carton of ice cream when no one was looking, or played hooky from work, and you are perfectly OK with keeping that information to yourself, have at it, sister!

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.