My Boyfriend Supports His Ex. Is it Wrong to Feel Like I’m Being Used?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
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Reader Question:

My boyfriend still supports his ex financially and now he’s constantly surfing porn. Is it wrong to feel like I’m just being used because he can’t get what he really wants?

-Julie S. Silverdale (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

You’ve asked two separate questions here. As for him supporting his ex financially, I don’t know if there are children involved, a divorce decree, or if this is just him staying attached emotionally. I’d explore what the meaning of this financial support is and what his end goal is to wean her or not.

As for the porn question, that’s a big red flag. A lot of guys don’t realize that easy access to porn can make their brains become addicted to constant images of new and hot digital lovers, and it makes it difficult to find sexual satisfaction in a long-term monogamous relationship.

I would talk to him about his porn. Do some research and help him understand that porn is a drug like any other that can cause dopamine rushes and have an addictive quality.

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