Top 10 Best Sites
Looking for a dating site you can trust? Search no more.
I met a man last year on Match.com. We have been on and off since April mainly because he runs hot and cold. He acts like he is a boyfriend 60 percent of the time, but we have had no label.
We talk about everything but his feelings. I even feel like he may love me at times, but I also feel I can’t get to know him.
Every time I break it off with him, because he starts acting distant after spending time together, it isn’t but a day or so before he is blowing my phone up.
What the hell is this man’s problem?
If he acts like a boyfriend 60 percent of the time, how often are you acting like a girlfriend? If your commitment to your partner and benefits received ratio don’t match, you have a problem.
In other words, if you’re acting like his girlfriend 100 percent of the time but not receiving the benefits of being a girlfriend (you have no label, no consistency and no validation of his feelings), then there is an imbalance.
You can go down to his level of commitment, which could look like being less available, dating others and being less emotionally attached to him, or you can communicate what you need and hope for him to rise to yours. The benefits and the status need to match.
A good guy friend of mine married this girl who practiced a very important lesson about getting what you require in relationships. As their relationship started to grow, he invited her to go out of town with him for a weekend.
Most women would be really thrilled at that. She turned him down. She didn’t turn him down because she didn’t want to go or be with him, but she simply and sweetly told him, “Going out of town is something boyfriends and girlfriends do, not people who are just dating.”
This girl is the sweetest girl in the world. She wasn’t rude or snarky about it, but she practiced self-control and self-respect and communicated her requirements.
He then knew if he wanted to go out of town with her, they need to be at that level for her to agree. Their relationship moved to that level and eventually marriage. Quite honestly, it’s one of the most healthy and communicative marriages I know.
Make your own requirements, commit to them and communicate them. If he doesn’t live up to them, move on.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.
DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.
Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.