There is an Age Gap and No Physical Attraction. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I’m dating this guy and it’s a long-distance relationship. He says all the right things and I could see a future with him, except for two deal-breakers.

One is there is a 10-year age difference that doesn’t really bother me, but I do worry about what my family would think. Deal-breaker number two is there is no physical attraction on my part and he’s so far from what I normally go for.

I don’t know if I’m being shallow or if I could get the brains and the beauty or if I’m settling.

What should I do?

-Tia (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Tia,

Let me get this straight: You are “dating” a man you are not physically attracted to, your parents would not approve of him and who doesn’t even live in the same city as you.

Have you even gone on a real date with him? If so, what ARE you attracted by?

The only thing you’ve told me is he says the right things. That’s not a basis for a healthy relationship in my opinion. He could be saying only what you want to hear.

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