Are You Willing To Date Outside Your Comfort Zone

Women's Dating

5 Reasons Dating the Same Type Will Ruin Your Love Life

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem. To connect with Rachel or to learn more about her psychotherapy and relationship coaching services, please follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Buy her book "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life" on Amazon.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Have you noticed you generally go for the same types of men over and over again? Have your friends and family joked with you that all of your boyfriends look the same, dress the same or have similar career patterns?

Are you quick to reject a man who falls out of your predetermined type even just a little bit? Do you tend to only date men who are a certain height or have certain physical features or looks?

It’s easy to live your life staying in your comfort zone.

In fact, it can feel safer and less risky and overwhelming to play it safe.

We tend to get comfortable with certain routines, lifestyles, people and activities, which sometimes makes it difficult to break through these boundaries to other incredible opportunities and meaningful experiences.

In the dating and relationship world, it is common for women to stick with a specific type and not give a guy a chance if he falls out of this type.

Again, this might feel safer and more comfortable as you deal with the natural anxiety of meeting new potential partners.

Although it is important to be aware of your preferences and qualities in a man that are attractive to you, holding on to a specific type too rigidly has significant costs and may be a blockage to cultivating a rewarding relationship.

The truth is love and vulnerability exist together, as frightening as that might feel in some moments.

Here are five reasons to break out of your comfort zone and to be open to dating men who do not fit your exact type or who are different than the partners you typically choose.

1. Staying in your comfort zone appears to minimize risk.

It also can cause you to miss out on potential partners. By only dating men who fit into a very inflexible description or category, you are most likely overlooking other great men.

“Focus on getting to know

a man as a whole person.”

2. Always dating a specific type commonly causes dating ruts.

This also makes it harder to meet a man you click with.

Dating in your comfort zone might also land you in similar types of dissatisfying relationships. You might end up feeling bored, stuck or disappointed time and time again.

3. Your type might have actually changed.

You are so attached to the idea of your type that you are looking for your old type and not who you are really attracted to now. You might think you know what you are looking for, but in reality, you are making poor choices in men just because they appear safe or familiar.

4. Taking more risks provides you with valuable information.

You get to experience how you feel with different types of guys to determine what really works for you.

5. Being spontaneous allows attraction to grow organically.

Without even knowing it, you might be forcing a connection with your identified type, which gets in the way of the natural process of determining if you both are a solid match.

When it comes to finding and being open to love, make sure you are consciously deciding who to date versus automatically going for men who are your type and refusing to give any other men a chance.

If you get stuck and find yourself back in your comfort zone, honestly answer these two questions:

  1. Are you falling for him because he fits your ideal description or because you have true feelings toward him?
  2. Are you into him because he is safe or exhibits qualities that are truly important to you in a partner?

Focus on getting to know a man as a whole person and not solely judging him on his appearance, career path, salary, etc. Get to know his positive traits and give yourself time to let your attraction grow by moving past any judgments or past limitations.

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