Reader Question:
What should I answer to the guy who just wants to have sex on the first date…in case I like him and don’t want to rush?
-Rose (Thailand)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Dear Rose,
You should tell him clearly you are attracted to him but you do not want to have sex with him because you’d rather build a strong friendship first.
Tell him people who have sex within 30 days of meeting have about a 90 percent chance of breaking up within a year and you don’t want to be part of that statistic.
Don’t say, “I’m not ready yet.” To a guy, that can mean you’ll be ready in 10 minutes. And don’t use a token “no,” that is, saying no, while still hugging and kissing. Men interpret that kind of “no” as exciting foreplay.
Instead, physically move away from him and ask to be taken home. You don’t have to be angry. You can be polite, firm and say it all with a smile on your face.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.
