Online Dating

How to Ramp Up Your Online Dating Profile

Julie Spira

Written by: Julie Spira

Julie Spira

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If a little digital birdie told you that you could find the love of your life online but it would require one hour a day of work five days a week for the next three months, would you agree to that schedule?

After all, you’ve been single for years now. Three months isn’t a lifetime sentence.

If that same digital birdie pointed out things in your LinkedIn profile that would prevent you from getting hired for your dream job, would you listen and eagerly make the changes? Probably yes.

It’s interesting to me that a lifetime of love, which will surpass a three-year job, isn’t taken as seriously for many online daters.

We’re talking happily ever after here, so a little digital diligence is really worth the effort.

Here are four tips to revise your online dating profile to attract the man or woman of your dreams.

1. Remove the disclaimer.

Including a disclaimer screams attitude and a bad one at that. We know you don’t want your photos exploited on the Internet. Your potential date feels the same way, too.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen too many profiles include sayings such as, “Don’t contact me if you’re into heavy drama” or “You don’t have permission to use my photos.”

These common disclaimers send the message you’re angry and aren’t easygoing. It’s too easy to click on the next profile.


“Revise your profile with a brand new

screen name and primary photo.”

2. Don’t talk about sex.

You’re a member of an online dating site, not an adult entertainment site.

Describing yourself as sexy will make you look narcissistic and self-absorbed. Talking about how you have a big sexual appetite will make you look like a sex addict or hookup prospect.

Men undress women with their eyes long before the clothes ever come off. Keep the online conversation out of the bedroom if you’re looking for a long-term relationship offline.

3. Dump the adjectives and cliches.

We know you enjoy beach walks, sunsets and holding hands. We also know you can go from jeans to black tie, but these sentences are overused and you’ll look like every other profile in town.

Every man is looking for that special one – someone who is unique and different. You can post photos wearing different outfits and he’ll get that you’re a versatile woman.

Better yet, talk about the time you took tango lessons and how you’d really like to improve your golf game, as your clubs are collecting dusting in your garage.

4. Change your screen name and photos.

Even the catchiest of screen names have a shelf life that can expire.

If your relationship ran its course and you’re back online again, you may not need an entire new profile. Just because he didn’t notice you a few months ago, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in dating you.

Revise your profile with a brand new screen name and change your primary photo to a more recent one.

Some online dating sites list the date your photo was uploaded. If it’s been more than one year, he might think you’ll be unrecognizable and take a pass.

Head over to Facebook and find a recent shot that will show how you look IRL, not how you looked before your last relationship.

If you make these subtle changes to your online dating profile, you’re inbox will start to fill up again and you’ll be on your way to ride into the digital sunset together.

What turns you off when reading an online dating profile?

Your comments are welcome.

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