Lately in the press I’ve seen a trend of negativity surrounding online dating. Numerous articles discuss the decline of online dating, the burnout surrounding it, and the theory that the platforms are working more to get signups and subscriptions than success stories.
I feel passionate about offering a counter perspective.
My matchmaking career started by being an online dating concierge on behalf of singles. I would take over and manage their dating app profiles to get them better quality matches.
Soon after I achieved my certification in traditional matchmaking from the Global Love Institute.
After getting certified, I launched my own agency: Cohen Gray Connections. We are centered around combining multiple methods of matchmaking to find the right match for our clients.
Since my early days in the industry, I’ve seen the positive side of online dating. I’ve witnessed and been part of countless success stories.
This is why online dating has a very special place in my heart, and I believe it’s a great solution for singles. I hope I can convince you not to give up on swiping just yet.
1. It’s the Largest Singles Database Ever Created
If you think about it, online dating has the largest singles database in the world. Everyone dates online. Even clients who hire matchmakers for a traditional search often date online to keep their options open.
Thanks to international dating sites, a client can even explore their dating options in other countries to see if they could potentially find their person somewhere else. This opens up an entire world that wouldn’t be as easily accessible if they didn’t date online.
2. You Can Control Your First Impression
It is important to truly understand the platforms and how they can work to your benefit.
The first piece to the puzzle is how you are marketing yourself. We are a very visual society, and first impressions are everything. Your photos are priority number one, as they really do serve as the gateway to engagement online.
A strong photo lineup tells your story and will lead someone to want to read further through your dating profile.
Creating the visual narrative in your written profile is essential. You should try to showcase your personality, values, hobbies, interests, and what you are looking for. It’s the first step to making a connection.
I often see online daters making the mistake of talking a lot about what they are NOT looking for. I advise using the little space you have to talk about yourself and your preferences in a positive light. I always encourage clients to leave any negativity out of a profile.
3. Some Strategy & Guidance Can Make a Difference
Most online daters have experienced dating app burnout. The swiping can lead to dopamine hits that encourage renewals but is not exactly conducive to finding love.
The secret is that with the right guidance of an expert, you can avoid burnout because we’re doing the hard work of searching for you.
Indeed, these platforms combined with the guidance of an expert are a wonderful tool for finding love. I have had huge success with clients online. I have been involved in client marriages, engagements, relationships through different online platforms.
4. The Algorithm Can Actually Help You
It’s important to understand the algorithms that exist within all the platforms.
Swiping right on everyone and hoping someone likes you back is a surefire way to not be successful online. This strategy doesn’t allow the platforms to understand your tastes and preferences. It confuses the algorithm.
You tell the algorithm what you want by liking or passing on profiles, and it’ll look for patterns to show you more of what you want. If you aren’t consistent, your match suggestions will be a mess.
Additionally, there are optimal times and days a user should be swiping. Sundays are peak traffic days, particularly in the evening.
These are just some points I have learned over the years that can help or hinder your online success.
5. It Really Works (a Success Story)
A recent success story I can share is of a high-profile female client who found her husband online through Cohen Gray Connections.
She is in her 60s and was not accepted by many matchmaking firms – not because she isn’t beautiful, smart, and has a lot to offer, but because her search would have been too challenging to fulfill.
When I took her on as a client, I already knew her match would come from online or outside recruitment. Many matchmakers hire recruitment firms to help search for matches that may have never dated online or ever used a matchmaker.
For this particular client, I created a proposal that was unique. I offered her our online concierge service with an à la carte version of recruitment. In the end, we found her husband on Match. This was a surprise for my client because she never believed in finding love online.
Revitalizing the Online Dating Narrative
I love doing traditional matchmaking, but it isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. The suggestion of “When you are exhausted with the apps, hire a matchmaker” can be misleading. What if traditional matchmaking is not in your budget? Well, this is where the online dating industry really shines.
I can’t say it enough that extremely high-quality, wonderful matches do exist online. The key is knowing how to properly utilize the platforms and work smarter.
Once you are able to do this, an entire world opens up online. I strongly believe that we will always have a need for online matchmaking in combination with traditional matchmaking.
Online dating shines when traditional methods falter. But it isn’t easy to navigate alone. The online space is detailed, vast, and varied. It can feel like a full-time job to figure it out.
If an expert is helping with the process, even the most challenging searches can lead to love. I will forever be a passionate supporter of online dating. I will always advocate for dating apps, and I would love to see more positivity surrounding them.
