I’m a Great Person, But I Can’t Attract Women. Do You Have Any Ideas?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I am over 50, in good shape and have a great sense of humor. I listen well to other people and am a great person to talk with, but I cannot attract women.

I am sad about it because women hold too much on attraction. I guess I am not attracted enough.

Do you have any ideas?

-Brad (Virginia)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Brad,

Did you notice your Freudian slip? You said, “I guess I’m not attracted enough,” instead of saying “not attractive enough.” I think this is the root of your problem.

It is not your job to attract women. It is your job to become attracted to specific women who can give you the love you deserve. Your job is to approach as many women and be attracted to them.

If you become too preoccupied about how attractive you are, then you won’t be authentic. Women and men are attracted to happy, optimistic people with loads of self-confidence.

That’s the man you need to meet up with inside your own head.


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