I’m a Great Person, But I Can’t Attract Women. Do You Have Any Ideas?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I am over 50, in good shape and have a great sense of humor. I listen well to other people and am a great person to talk with, but I cannot attract women.

I am sad about it because women hold too much on attraction. I guess I am not attracted enough.

Do you have any ideas?

-Brad (Virginia)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Brad,

Did you notice your Freudian slip? You said, “I guess I’m not attracted enough,” instead of saying “not attractive enough.” I think this is the root of your problem.

It is not your job to attract women. It is your job to become attracted to specific women who can give you the love you deserve. Your job is to approach as many women and be attracted to them.

If you become too preoccupied about how attractive you are, then you won’t be authentic. Women and men are attracted to happy, optimistic people with loads of self-confidence.

That’s the man you need to meet up with inside your own head.


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