I Lack Confidence When Striking Conversations with Women. What Can I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

When it comes to striking a conversation with a woman, I lack confidence or knowledge on what to say.

What can I do?

-Michael (Texas)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Michael,

Your problem may be that your anxiety about being liked by a woman shuts down the winning personality you use with men.

The very fact you think women want or need different subjects when striking up a conversation shows your anxiety makes you tongue-tied.

First of all, when talking to a new woman, you don’t even know if she’s single, so keep things respectful and have boundaries (i.e. don’t tell her she’s beautiful right out of the gate. She could be married to your boss!)

Pretend you are talking to a guy you’ve just met. Stick with topics like the weather and your surroundings: “This grocery store always has the best produce. Doesn’t it?” “Have you noticed this bus is always late?”

She shows you with her body language, eye contact and words if she’s interested in talking further.

And if you do talk long enough and want to ask her out, act like it’s an afterthought. Say something like, “Hey, you’re kind of interesting. Want to grab coffee sometime?”

That’s a lot less threatening than, “You’re pretty. Can I take you out for dinner?”

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