Survey Reveals Over 2 in 5 Young Americans Don’t Date Due to Anxiety 

Young Americans are an anxious generation: according to a study released by the U.S. National Institute of Health (NIH), the incidence of both depression and anxiety doubled during the pandemic and has not diminished since. Anxiety can disrupt personal well-being — as well as relationships. 

How does anxiety affect dating and early relationships? We asked more than 1,000 Gen Z and millennial singles about their experiences with dating, how anxiety affects them, and their dating preferences. 

Dating is hard: putting yourself out there to find a partner or even a good time can be daunting, and for those with social anxiety, it’s an even harder ask. Nearly 4 out of 5 millennials and Gen Zers surveyed say dating stresses them out, and nearly half (43%) said they don’t date at all due to their anxiety. 

“Dating has changed enormously,” said Dr. Wendy Walsh, psychologist and relationship expert. “Our dependence on technology has shrunk our ability to flirt and replaced it with social anxiety. But, like any relationship skill, the art of online flirting can be learned.”

Over 3 in 5 respondents say that anxiety negatively affects their dating life. This can mean staying single longer, and for some, that means a turn toward pessimism. Forty-two percent of single millennials and Gen Zers believe they’re going to die alone; for millennials, this increases to nearly half at 47%. 

For many, one of the extra stressors of being single is feeling like they’re running out of time to have kids. Over 1 in 3 (36%) single women under age 43 (the oldest age of current Millennials) feel anxiety about their biological clock.

It turns out anxiety is a common experience for most Gen Z and millennial singles: 83% said they have anxiety, and among them, 55% have a clinical diagnosis of anxiety. One in 10 take anxiety medication before a first date to help calm their nerves, but for some, that’s not enough. 

Nearly half (47%) blame their anxiety for why they’re single. Then again, there are plenty of fish in the anxious sea. A quarter of respondents prefer to date others who have anxiety. Not only that, but 15% disclose their mental health status on the first date. 

Mental health struggles can get the best of us; everyone needs to take a mental health day every now and then. Among young singles, 1 in 3 have canceled a date due to their mental health, and over 2 in 5 have also ghosted a date due to anxiety. 

It seems honesty is the best policy, as over half of respondents said they are more likely to date someone who discloses their mental health. One may be careful not to disclose too much, though, as over 1 in 10 have been scared off by a date’s mental health admission. 

Everyone feels some anxiety before a date, but some singles are more anxious than others. Nearly 1 in 6 (16%) young singles surveyed have had a panic attack on a first date.

So, what are the top anxieties Gen Zers and millennials feel on a first date? The number one fear these young singles experience is rejection (64%), followed by the dissonance between expectation and reality (56%), having nothing to say on the date (43%), being “too much” for the other person (28%), and finally, the nagging anxiety that the first date will be a waste of time (25%). 

Others are concerned about safety, with 1 in 5 anxious about assault on the first date.

Anxiety is so omnipresent for some that it’s more surprising others don’t have anxiety. In fact, 1 in 10 respondents admit to being “weirded out” if their date doesn’t have anxiety in 2024; this increases to 16% among LGBTQ+ people. 

Another major anxiety trigger is messaging for a long time without ever meeting up — this is known as carouselling, and 2 in 3 have fallen victim to it. More than half of those surveyed (53%) say they get more anxious the longer they message with a potential date. 

Intimate moments can also spark anxiety. More than 1 in 10 (13%) have stopped a date due to anxiety, specifically around sexual performance. Panic attacks are an issue as well, with 11% of single women admitting to having had a panic attack during sex. 

While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with being single, many don’t look forward to a future devoid of partnership. In fact, 3 in 5 fear growing old alone. For some respondents, family opinions aren’t helping either —  30% said their families are pressuring them to “settle down” and find a spouse. 

Despite these concerns, many young singles are still hopeful, with 72% believing there is someone out there for them. But this begs the question: Where do they find them? 

Two-thirds of respondents prefer to meet people organically in person rather than depend on dating apps. Similarly, 2 in 3 respondents say that dating apps give them anxiety, and 53% go so far as to say that dating apps are a waste of time. 

If dating apps are out, then how does the anxious single meet people? Fewer than 1 in 5 people think they put themselves out there enough to meet dates, and nearly 1 in 3 (31%) have rejected someone due to their own dating anxiety. 

For those who do start dating someone regularly, the fears may not subside so easily, as 46% say they have anxiety about “catching feelings” for a date, and 43% have commitment anxiety. 

Partnership may not be for everyone, but hopefully, every anxious single will find happiness in their own way. 

In October 2024, we surveyed 1,007 Gen Z and millennial singles about how anxiety relates (or doesn’t) to their dating life. Of those surveyed, 49% were men, 47% were women, and the remaining 4% were either nonbinary or chose not to disclose. Ages ranged from 18 to 43, with an average age of 30. 

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