9 Length of Dating Before Marriage Statistics (2024)

Ever feel like everyone in your life has a different opinion on how long to date before getting married? Your mom says you can’t hurry love. Your friends insist that if your partner likes it, he needs to put a ring on it ASAP. Your partner says don’t go changing to try to please them. You start to wonder why everyone is quoting songs at you. It’s a whole mess.

Everyone can keep their opinions – I’ve done the math and found the stats to get at the truth. 

Is the slow burn better than a quick elopement? What’s the ideal length of dating before marriage? Spoiler alert: The truth is every relationship is different, and what feels right to some might feel too long or too short for others. 

If you think your relationship could be the relationship, you may wonder when and where the proposal should take place. While I can’t give you a definitive answer to that question, I can provide the next best thing: statistics! 

Here’s what the experts say about how long you should wait before going ring shopping. 

How long is long enough to decide whether someone’s The One for you? According to The Knot’s 2023 Engagement and Jewelry Study, the average relationship length before getting married is two or more years for 70% of surveyed couples. 

For some couples, two years might feel like an adequate amount of time to get to know someone’s quirks (good and bad), navigate conflict resolution, and discuss serious long-term goals including children, careers, and finances. 

However, other couples might find this to be way too short of a time. The time it takes to truly know and love someone may vary, and it depends on your age and life stage when you and your partner meet. There could be personal goals you want to achieve before getting engaged. 

For example, it makes sense to want to achieve a specific title in your career or save up a certain amount of money before feeling truly comfortable settling down. 

It’s important not to let averages run your life. The two-year statistic can act as a general benchmark for your engagement. Perhaps two years is a good point to check in with your partner to assess feelings and next steps. 

If two years doesn’t feel like enough time, you might count yourself among the 1 in 3 couples who wait more than five years to get engaged, according to a survey conducted by Bridal Musings. 

Even though 29% said they dated for more than five years, 22% of respondents reported dating for three to five years. After a little bit of marital math, we can see that 51% waited for over three years for an engagement. 

The survey has its limits, and the data doesn’t tell the whole story. Bridal Musings couldn’t confirm the exact age of the couples who responded. The surveyors assumed that “couples who were much younger would have waited longer before getting engaged, whereas older couples might have been less hesitant.” 

A study at Emory University surveyed 3,000 individuals about the length of time they dated before marriage and how it impacted relationship satisfaction. The data revealed that couples who dated for three or more years before getting engaged decreased their likelihood of divorce by 50%. 

This makes sense when you think about it – the longer you date, the more opportunities you have to work through conflict and see all sides of one another. Nothing kills a marriage faster than running into a surprise dealbreaker after saying “I do.” 

But a few signs might indicate that marriage is still too soon for you two, even if you’ve been dating for three years or longer. Unresolved issues, pressure from friends and family members, and continuous doubt are all things that don’t just magically go away after a few years.

At the end of the day, the number, the ring, and the wedding don’t mean more than the actual commitment you make to each other. 

Research from the University of Utah’s National Survey of Family Growth found that, prior to the age of 32, each additional year of age at marriage reduces the odds by divorce by 11%. However, after that, the odds of divorce actually increase by 5% each year.

I would choose to look at this with an optimistic eye: It’s possible that the odds of divorce increase with age because being older and knowing what you want means you’re more likely to part ways with those who don’t meet your standards or needs.

If being married for life and avoiding divorce is important to you, it’s good to remember that the strength of the relationship depends on the people in it. Choosing to wait longer may not guarantee a longer or happier marriage.

Additional findings from the same survey revealed that divorce is 50% less likely for someone who is 25 years old when they wed, compared to someone who gets married at age 20. 

According to sociological researcher Nicholas Wolfinger, the best age at which to get married appears to be between 28 and 32. Before that age range, divorce rates are still decreasing; after that window, they increase again.

Though relationship timelines vary, some trends are clear. DatingNews surveyed over 1,000 people across the country and found that today’s Americans prefer to date for about one year and six months before discussing marriage. 

Most of the Americans surveyed said they wanted to be engaged for between six months to one year. Overall, this puts the preferred relationship length before marriage at two years and five months.

Getting engaged is a significant commitment. By the time you and your partner are engaged, you should have most of your relationship figured out. You’re on the same page about whether you want children, where you’d like to live together, and how to split finances and responsibilities in your life. 

With that in mind, it makes sense that the average engagement is a bit shorter than the time you’ll spend dating leading up to it. When you know what you want, you won’t want to waste your time waiting around. 

Many younger couples opt for longer engagements, either for financial reasons or so they can plan the perfect wedding. Even if you aren’t going for an elaborate Disney Princess wedding, getting married can be expensive. After the wedding comes some post-marital expenses like a new house, childcare, and the honeymoon. Getting your life in order first just makes sense.

In 2019, the Pew Research Center found that 66% of married adults who moved in with their spouse before they were engaged stated that they saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage. 

Additionally, about half of U.S. adults said couples who live together before marriage have a better chance of having a successful marriage than those who don’t live together before marriage. Only 13% of respondents said couples who live together before marriage have a worse chance of having a successful marriage.

Living together can be a great step toward understanding how your day-to-day life will operate once you’re effectively bound together forever. For instance, if your partner does something that drives you crazy, like leaving dishes in the sink or putting pictures of his NFTs all over the walls, you’ll want to know about that issue before the wedding. 

However, this isn’t an option for some people. Certain cultures and religions forbid premarital cohabitation. If you can make it work, though, it’s a great way to get a sneak peek at the wedded life.

Across the U.S., different cultural groups carry their own traditions and unique approaches to dating. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints religious community, for example, research estimates place the followers’ average age of marriage at 23 years old. That’s four years younger than the American national average, with significantly less time dedicated to dating beforehand.

In other Christian communities, such as religiously affiliated colleges and universities, it’s common to see young students date for a shorter period of time and get engaged by their graduation day.

Though specific statistics on the “ring by spring” phenomenon are unclear, dating for a shorter period of time may be related to their religious beliefs of being called or guided to a specific partner, obligations to missionary work and a desire to find a partner that fits within the timeline of its pursuit, or personal objections to cohabitation before marriage. 

Wedding and engagement jewelry brand Shane Co. surveyed 3,100 people across the United States in 2023 and discovered that, on average, couples date for about 30 months before getting engaged. 

We see some variation within that figure, depending on where the respondents live. Ohio residents were the slowest to get engaged, waiting on average for 47.5 months. Alaska and Maine followed closely at 43 and 42 months, respectively.

Indiana, on the other hand, led the pack when it came to moving fast and locking it down. Hoosier survey respondents clocked in at a 15-month dating-to-engagement average, with Washington state, North Carolina, and Utah also coming in close at 15 to 16 months.

Every relationship is unique and moves at its own pace. What works for others might not necessarily be a good fit for you – and that’s OK! You can use these length of dating before marriage statistics as jumping-off points for further discussion.

These numbers are by no means hard-and-fast rules that anyone is required to play by. Even if you’re feeling the pressure, remember there are exceptions to every rule.

If you feel a strong sense of commitment to your partner and are ready to consider a future together, the most important thing is that the time you spend with each other – both in the lead-up to your marriage and the marriage itself – is enjoyable. When you’re in tune with each other’s wants, needs, and goals, that time will fly by.