14 Dating Statistics by Race in the U.S.

Everyone’s version of ‘happily ever after’ looks a little different. Some of us dream of stumbling into love during a rom-com-like meet-cute, while others are content to swipe through Tinder until someone catches their eye. 

Dating is infinitely more fun when you open the door to other perspectives and cultures. 

Personally, I like not knowing what my own happily ever after will look like quite yet. The journey is half the fun, even if it’s also the hardest part. 

Cultural differences, societal changes, Covid-19, and political divides have made dating more complex than ever before. Diversity has always been this country’s strength, but people from different ethnic backgrounds encounter adversity — even in the dating world.

Whether on dating apps or in the real world, people of color can experience unique challenges. These statistics don’t only put our differences on display, but our similarities as well. We all experience different challenges on our romantic journeys, and some are more serious than others. 

Calling all single ladies and men! According to statistics from Pew Research Center, 47% of Black adults reported being single. Twenty percent fewer white adults would join in on Beyoncé’s Single Ladies dance, according to Pew.

Either white adults have an easier time putting a ring on it, or they simply dig their feet into long-term relationships while some Black adults choose to stay unattached. 

Nearly half of the surveyed Black adults were reportedly single and ready to mingle, and 32% of surveyed Hispanic adults were right there with them.

The English-speaking Asian adults surveyed by Pew were more likely to be married or in a serious relationship; only 29% reported being single. Of course, it’s possible that these “single” people are dating, but only on a casual basis. 

For all the benefits of dating apps, there are certainly some downsides. Ask any woman who has used a dating app and she’ll tell you all about the cringe-inducing experience of receiving unwanted, explicit photos.

Why do people think it’s okay to share unsolicited photos of their nether regions with complete strangers? It’s an ordeal 31% of Black adults on dating apps who participated in the survey reportedly experienced in 2019, which was nearly two times more than white adults. 

Hispanic adults weren’t in the clear. Twenty-eight percent of Hispanic adults also received unwanted photos. Compared to the still-too-high 18% of white adults, it seems like all of our eyeballs have suffered from unsolicited photos at least once. 

The truly scary part is that these statistics reflect the percentage of people who have received unwanted photos from someone they were already dating or on a date with — AKA, someone you thought you could trust. 

We just can’t help but look back on the past with rose-colored glasses. Was there really a time when you could meet the love of your life in the produce section at the grocery store? Meet-cutes seem to be few and far between these days. 

#MeToo and other social movements have made dating more complicated, but not impossible. In fact, shining a light on these important issues may have made dating a little safer in the long run. Still, a 2019 Pew Research study showed that a whopping 54% of Black adults said that dating is harder now than it was in the last decade.

Forty-eight percent of white adults in the survey agreed that dating is harder these days, and 42% of surveyed Hispanic adults followed suit. But with the help of social media, dating experts, and a little faith, finding a significant other can be a more rewarding process. 

To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question… that should be explicitly asked before you go in for the smooch, according to Pew Research. Hopefully, no one is going around kissing random strangers.

But when it comes to the person you’re dating, is it lame to ask permission before kissing them? Not according to surveyed Black adults, 57% of whom said it’s unacceptable to kiss your date without their express permission. 

Thirty-nine percent of Hispanic adults in the survey were on the same page. It’s definitely more polite to get the all-clear before planting one on your date, but there’s an obvious downside. Some could argue that asking to kiss someone is the opposite of romantic, and it’s possible that many white adults agree. Only 31% of white adults surveyed said that it was unacceptable to kiss without asking permission first. 

As corny as it sounds, love isn’t bound to any one race. This doesn’t mean that people from different socioeconomic backgrounds have the same relationship values, though. Your background can determine your priorities. If you grew up in a poor household, you may value security more than, say, adventurousness. 

Even so, it’s not surprising that Defender Network reported that 62% of Black women in a survey named trust and communication as the most important attribute in a relationship. Trust and communication are the cornerstones of a happy, healthy relationship, regardless of race. We wouldn’t be surprised if these qualities were at the top of the lists of people of other races, too. 

There’s long been a stigma about women who date younger men. Still, 2024 seems to be the year of the cougar (thank you, “Family Affair” and “The Idea of You”), so it’s possible that this stigma is on the way out. The Black women surveyed by Defender Network were certainly open-minded about it, as 80% said they’d consider dating someone younger than them. 

After all, keeping your options open can only help your chances of finding love in the long run. Ipsos conducted a similar study, and 57% of women of all races in the survey said it was appropriate for women to date someone 10 years their junior. As long as everyone is a consenting adult, what’s the harm? 

As a kid, turning 40 was something that happened to other people. It’s a million years away! Only people with wedding rings, houses, two kids, and a dog can turn 40.

But as I get older — and as 40 looms ever closer — it’s clear that this idealized version of the future doesn’t come true for everyone. According to Pew Research, 46% of Black adults surveyed reported not marrying by 40 in 2021. 

On the flip side, only 17% of Asian adults surveyed were reportedly unmarried at 40. Could a cultural difference explain the 29-point gap? It’s certainly possible, as the other racial groups surveyed by Pew — white adults and Hispanic adults — skewed closer to the Asian adult response percentage, white adults at 20% and Hispanic adults at 27%. 

More Americans are holding off on marriage these days, according to the survey, so Black adults may have been onto something. Maybe we’ll all start to have weddings that double as retirement parties. 

Dating apps have taken over the dating world in recent years, and it’s easy to see why. The convenience of the “swipe right” method speaks for itself. Plus the constant stream of potential dates can be intoxicating, if not outright overwhelming. Dating apps can be a mixed bag, but 1 in 3 Hispanic adults surveyed have seemed to enjoy the experience, according to Pew Research. 

Thirty-four percent of Black Adults reportedly used at least one dating app in 2022. A smaller percentage of surveyed white adults, 29%, said they have reaped the benefits of dating apps. Even fewer English-speaking Asian adults said they have used a dating app — 26%, to be exact. 

Young people tend to use dating apps more than middle-aged people, which could explain why only 17% of Asian adults surveyed reported being unmarried by the time they turn 40. Who needs a dating app when you’re already in a committed relationship?

The glow of your partner’s phone can be awfully alluring under the right circumstances. Maybe you have suspicions that they’re being unfaithful, or maybe you’re just curious about what you’ll find in their search history.

Of course, we would never, ever, ever betray their trust like that! Never! Ever! But 47% of surveyed Hispanic adults admitted to peeking at their partner’s phone at least once without their knowledge. 

Fewer Black adults surveyed (37%) said they sneak a peek at their partner’s phone — and even fewer white adults in the survey said the same. At least, only 31% of white adults in the survey admit to doing it. If you’re willing to betray your partner’s trust to snoop through their phone, you’re probably willing to lie on a survey, too. 

For those of us who grew up with social media at our fingertips, it’s hard to imagine life without it. The instant connection to countless people and communities is a powerful force, and it can get out of control if you’re not careful. 

Of the non-white adults surveyed by Pew Research, 31% admitted to feeling jealous about their partner’s social media use. The source of this jealousy seems to be how one’s partner talks to other people — ahem, other flirty people — on social media. 

Meanwhile, 19% of white adults surveyed reported feeling jealous about their partner’s behavior on social media. Why the disparity between white and non-white adults? It’s hard to say. Perhaps the way people interact with other people of different races online is the culprit. 

Dating sites are not for the faint of heart. The average person can be scammed, ghosted, led on, ignored, and harassed on the apps or on a dating site, and all in one sitting.

It’s understandable why people may feel intimidated or let-down by dating sites, especially if you’re not accustomed to putting yourself out there. Black adults in the survey reported having the worst luck on dating sites, as only 30% said online dating has made it easier to find a long-term partner. 

At 31%, Hispanic adults in the survey said they were pretty much in the same boat. Asian adults reported having an easier go of it, as 46% of the Asian adults surveyed by Pew Research said they thought online dating can be helpful when looking for a partner. And unsurprisingly, 47% of white adults said they were optimistic about online dating. 

Dating apps can be flat-out unsafe, especially for women. Defender Network reported that 56% of Black women surveyed said they feel unsafe on dating apps — a worryingly high percentage. This can probably be chalked up to the racism and sexism Black women experience on a daily basis, and which can be found just as easily on dating apps as anywhere else. 

Pew Research backed this up and showed that 59% of Black adults it surveyed said they felt unsafe on dating apps. Hispanic adults in the survey weren’t far behind at 57%, and 54% of Asian adults experienced fear on the apps as well. Following this trend, it makes sense why the percentage of surveyed white adults who felt unsafe on the apps is so much lower at 46%. Still, even 46% seems like too high a statistic. 

If stereotypes are to be believed, then urban populations live in the future and rural communities live in the past. Reality is much more nuanced than this, and a 2017 Pew Research study put these nuances on display, for better and for worse.

For example, people in rural areas were generally less open-minded when it came to which populations were more or less likely to think interracial relationships are good for society. Only 24% of surveyed adults in rural areas said interracial relationships were good for society. 

Thirty-eight percent of surveyed adults in suburban areas and 45% of surveyed adults in urban areas thought interracial relationships were good for society, according to the study. The fact that the percentage of city-dwelling folks who think interracial relationships benefit society is less than half is eye-opening. 

On the bright side, many people in the survey weren’t flat-out against interracial relationships; of the rural, suburban, and urban communities surveyed by Pew, 63%, 51%, and 49%, respectively, said that interracial relationships simply don’t make much of a difference to society at all. 

How do people of different races feel about interracial relationships? People can be open-minded while still working through their own biases.

Perhaps this 2017 Pew Research survey reflected a diverse nation’s attempts to strike out from its comfort zone. Thirty-nine percent of white adults in a survey told Pew that interracial relationships were good for society, while 52% said they don’t make much of a difference to society at all. 

The percentages decreased from there. Thirty-six percent of Black adults surveyed thought interracial relationships benefit society, and 46% weren’t entirely convinced — but they weren’t against them, either. Interestingly, 35% of Hispanic adults in the survey found interracial relationships to be beneficial, while 60% don’t think they made a difference.

Eighteen percent of Black adults in the survey told Pew that interracial relationships were bad for society, followed by 9% of white adults and 3% of Hispanic adults in the survey who said the same. 

Dating is a little like doing a puzzle. It can be challenging and even frustrating at times, but when you put all the pieces in the right places, your reward is a beautiful work of art. But everyone’s puzzle looks different, and some of us have trouble putting the right pieces together. And in some cases, essential puzzle pieces are taken away, which puts us at a distinct disadvantage. 

It’s clear from the various Pew Research surveys that people of color face more obstacles than white adults when putting their puzzles together. On and off the dating apps, Black women said they contend with more uncertainty and danger than other racial groups. It’s a sad truth that women of all races have to keep their guards up in the dating world. 

You don’t always need to expect the worst, however. Dating may be harder than it used to be, and social media definitely plays a complicated role. But people of all races are more open to change and diversity than ever before. When we open ourselves up to new people, cultures, and experiences, we enrich our dating lives. 

Just when you thought that puzzle piece was gone forever, you find it under the couch. All you had to do was be open-minded enough to look for it.