How Young Couples Are Navigating Social Media & Romantic Relationships

The way people “launch” or announce their new romantic relationships online has evolved, especially for younger generations. While Facebook Official was once the way for many new couples to announce their relationship status, it has now been dubbed “outdated.”

Our survey of 1,000 millennials and Gen Zers found that many now prefer a more subtle approach to sharing personal details about their love lives online.

While social media is popular for sharing pictures and videos, relating to others online, and getting advice on countless topics, 59% of Americans surveyed believe it has ruined the privacy of relationships. Part of the reason may be that 51% of those surveyed said they believe people judge their romantic relationships based on online posts.

Nearly 2 in 3 surveyed said they prefer to keep relationships to themselves and not post about it online. For those who do share online, there are several new ways to post about your significant other. Most notably, soft-launching and hard-launching. 

A hard launch is a direct announcement of a relationship through pictures or a post, while a soft launch is posting pictures with hints of a relationship with no direct mention of it. Our survey found that 38% of millennials and Gen Zers prefer soft-launching relationships, 17% favor hard-launching, and 45% said they don’t share their relationship at all online or don’t have social media. 

Nearly 1 in 3 (28%) young adults have hard-launched a relationship in the past five years. Despite 3 in 4 believing ‘Facebook Official’ is outdated, the top platform to directly announce a new relationship is still Facebook, followed by Instagram and Snapchat. 

The top reasons for hard-launching relationships include connecting and sharing their life with others (69%), to show off a partner (67%), and to make the relationship feel more official (66%). 

More than 2 in 5 (41%) people surveyed have soft-launched a relationship in the past five years. The top platform people favor for a soft launch is Instagram, followed by Facebook and Snapchat. 

The reported reasons for soft-launching mostly have to do with discretion. The top reason is to respect their partner’s privacy or their own privacy, followed by testing the relationship’s stability, and keeping followers curious. This may be why 52% said they think soft-launching makes the relationship feel more exciting or exclusive, and 32% admit using soft-launching to test their partner’s commitment or intentions.

While social media can be a way to share life updates, 1 in 5 survey respondents believe it negatively impacts their relationships. For those who do share their love lives online, 1 in 4 surveyed said they wait at least six months after being in a relationship before posting about it on social media. 

When they do share their relationship online, the response matters: 18% said that likes and comments on their relationship announcement are important to them.

More than 1 in 3 (35%) of those surveyed said they coordinate with their partner to reveal their relationship on social media. Once a new relationship is public, 53% said they post about their partner on social media at least once a month.

Nearly 1 in 4 (23%) young adults have specific rules with their partner about posting each other online: the top rules include getting picture approval before posting, not sharing personal disagreements online, and only posting stuff for select friends.

“These days, everything is captured for the public on social media – for example, where you eat, what you watch on Netflix, where you travel, and what concerts you’re attending,” said Dr. Terri Orbuch, psychologist and relationship expert. “On the other hand, our relationships are more private, intimate and personal. Therefore, many people want to keep their romantic relationships to themselves, free of judgment, shame or questions (and not post about it online).”

While social media can be a place to share and spread the joy relationships can bring, 21% admit to fighting with their partner about social media. 

The top three fights couples have about social media:

1. Messaging someone (34%)
2. Liking someone else’s pictures (29%)
3. Following someone of the other gender (25%)

Breaking up is hard no matter the situation, and sometimes the internet can make it even more complicated. More than 1 in 10 said they mention their breakups online, and 63% remove pictures of their ex from their social media profiles. Some take action quickly, with 17% scrubbing their ex the same day as the breakup and 23% doing so within the first few days after the relationship ended. 

Removing pictures and posts of an ex is not enough for some, as 58% said they unfollow their ex on social media when they break up, and 1 in 3 block their ex.

As social media continues to evolve, so do the ways in which we navigate relationships. The delicate balance between sharing moments of joy and maintaining personal boundaries is a constant challenge for many. It’s important to find a way that works best for you and your partner through communication and understanding.

“Social media can have both positive and negative effects on relationships,” concluded Dr. Terri Orbuch. “By posting your relationship on social media (particularly with a hard launch), you open yourself up to questions and judgments about your relationship by others. When you start to develop a relationship with a romantic partner, many people want to wait until they’re certain this is the right person for them, without the scrutiny of others.”

In October 2024, we surveyed 1,000 Gen Z and millennial singles and those in relationships about how they share information about their love lives online. The survey respondents were 49% men, 48% women, and 3% nonbinary or chose not to disclose. Their ages ranged from 18 to 43, with an average age of 30.

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