Rethinking Romance: The Impact of Debt on Dating in America

It’s a match! You’ve swiped right on killer smiles and profiles claiming a love for adventure, artisan coffee, and rescue dogs. But what happens when things get serious and the biggest adventure becomes navigating the choppy waters of personal debt?

It’s a question that DatingAdvice.com sought an answer to. It surveyed 3,000 singles to ask a hypothetical question:

If you were in a relationship with someone, and planning a lifelong partnership, what levels of debt they have (if any) would deter you from committing to them?

The results offer insights into the role debt plays in attraction and how it affects the long-term prospects of couples in the US.

The magic number where cold feet set in? A cool $52,024, according to the survey. While some might argue that love transcends monetary concerns, the reality is that a $52,024 debt could severely constrain a couple’s financial freedom. In fact, a debt of $52,024 is over seven times the national average.

DatingAdvice.com created an interactive credit card, showing the levels of personal debt that would discourage people from making long-term commitments to their partners:

Created by DatingAdvice.com • 

The study by DatingAdvice.com didn’t stop there; it explored when debts should be disclosed in a relationship. A mere 7% believed it should be mentioned on the first date, while the majority, 67%, felt it appropriate to wait until the relationship was exclusive. Eighteen percent preferred to wait until engagement, and a cautious 8% chose to wait until marriage.

In a world where online profiles might stretch the truth about the years (and the year of the photo), fibbing about finances is the real romance killer. When asked to weigh the sin of age-fudging against debt-dodging, 70% of survey respondents agreed that a hidden heap of bills is the ultimate swipe-left offense.

The survey also entertained the notion of dating apps displaying credit scores, questioning whether it would make profiles more swipe-worthy. The crowd is split. While 47% of survey participants said they would pass on a low scorer, a surprisingly chill 53% said they wouldn’t let a number define their nuptial narrative.

Furthermore, a significant 59% of survey participants admitted they would reevaluate their relationship upon discovering a partner’s excessive spending habits, proving that a taste for champagne on a beer budget can sour a sweet connection.

In a revealing twist, over half (54%) of the respondents advocated for maintaining separate bank accounts even within the sanctity of marriage, suggesting that “what’s mine is yours” might need a modern rewrite.

“It has long been established that financial compatibility is key in relationships, but our latest survey reveals just how critical it is. As people become more financially savvy, they’re looking for partners who share their fiscal values and goals. Transparency about debt and spending habits is paramount in forming strong, lasting bonds. Love may be blind, but when it comes to debt, people prefer to go into relationships with their eyes wide open,” says Amber Brooks, Senior Editor with DatingAdvice.com.

DatingAdvice.com conducted an online panel survey of 3,000 adults based on age, gender, and geography. Internal data sources are used to obtain population data sets. We used a two-step process to ensure representativeness through stratified sampling and post-stratification weighting.