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|Amber Brooks • 6/22/17|
The Short Version: Kateryna Spiwak, one of Canada’s first dating coaches and Founder of Dating Essentials, helps singles attract dynamic and loving relationships through multi-purpose dating coaching services. After getting a degree in psychology and working in employment coaching, life-skills coaching, and human resources, Kat used her deep understanding of human nature to become a sought-after dating and relationship coach. Today, she offers step-by-step advice on how to deal with internal and external obstacles, screen and evaluate dates for desirable qualities and compatibility, and manage the dating process with confidence and skill. Many clients follow up with Kat once they’re in a relationship for additional help identifying and overcoming any obstacles to intimacy. Backed by over a decade of experience, Kat’s insights on interpersonal relationships give daters the tools to find and maintain lasting connections. She helps people find love and keep it!
Over the past 12 years, Kateryna Spiwak has helped many people transform their love lives for the better. Based in Toronto, Canada, the dating and relationship coach started Dating Essentials to give singles an empathetic and knowledgeable resource to improve their dating prospects. Today, she teaches essential dating and interpersonal skills in one-on-one coaching sessions in person, by phone, and via Skype.
Several years ago, 27-year-old Robert experienced a crisis of confidence and came to her for help. He lived with his mom in Cleveland, Ohio, and struggled with anxiety issues in social situations. He was a self-professed dating newbie who had trouble landing dates. Kat coached him on his general social skills, taught him how to flirt, encouraged him to try new things, and identified low-pressure places where he could meet available women.
“Kat’s instruction was the northern star that helped guide me to my soulmate and loving wife.” — Robert, a happily married accountant and former client of Dating Essentials
As part of her coaching style, Kat comes up with a personalized dating strategy to expedite the client’s relationship goals. So she suggested Robert take up salsa dancing as a way of building his confidence while mingling with new people. “Before coaching, you could not pay me to get on a dance floor,” he wrote in a testimonial. “Little did I know at the time that I would eventually meet my future wife on the dance floor.”
Getting out of his comfort zone helped Robert find the love of his life. Years later, Kat still keeps in touch with him and enjoys seeing pictures and videos of his wife and their 4-year-old son. “That’s one of my favorite stories,” she said.
With a background in psychology, Kat takes an in-depth approach to dating and relationship coaching. She digs deep to help people understand themselves as well as their dating patterns. She advocates “mindful dating,” a process involving self-awareness, enhanced emotional intelligence, and reciprocal compatibility. The work is often transformative and healing for those with bumpy relationship experiences, helping them realize that a loving long-term union is within their reach. Her proven dating strategies have worked in her own personal life, helping her to attract her husband on a dating site 12 years ago.
Through hands-on coaching, Kat teaches interpersonal and relational skills in an accessible and encouraging way. Clients with all types or relationship experience, from virgins to widowers, have benefited from Kat’s unique perspective on forming emotional connections, building rapport, and maintaining relationships. Anyone can sign up for a no-obligation consultation over email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or phone (416-762-4267) to learn how to improve their communication and dating skill sets.
“In working with me, my clients realize what their dating patterns are and how to change,” Kat said. “For example, women have learned why they chase bad boys or put up with bad behavior, and men have learned why they date critical women. It’s fundamental personal growth that enriches all areas of their lives.”
After graduating with her degree in psychology and sociology, Kat eventually moved into working as a human resources manager. Part of her job was screening and hiring applicants against rigorous requirements and competencies. Over time, she transitioned into consultant work and eventually found herself feeling ready to take on new challenges and help people with more than just their careers.
One night, she was having dinner with an ex-boyfriend when she brought up the idea of coaching people for a living. He asked if she planned to teach dating skills, and she laughed at what she thought was a joke. He was sincere, though. “You’re the only woman I know who doesn’t have any sad stories about dating,” he said.
That struck home with Kat, and she took some time to think about what she’d been doing that other singles might find valuable. She realized her experiences as a human resources professional helped her screen dates more efficiently. “I’m pragmatic. I’m passionate, but not led entirely by my heart,” she told us. “I established the criteria I was looking for in a partner and thought about where to meet those people, refined how I engaged with my dates, and it worked.”
Kat decided to take a chance on herself and get into coaching for a living. She began with general life coaching training but soon took her ex’s advice and transitioned to the dating space. Today, Kat has been counseling people for more than 20 years and brings her expertise as a dating and relationship coach, counselor, wardrobe consultant, personal wing-woman, and general resource for singles everywhere.
Over the years, Kat has developed a practical dating system based on psychological principles and her own experiences. Dating Essentials addresses common dating issues like how to meet people and how to screen date prospects by providing constructive guidelines for singles. In sessions that often last up to 90 minutes, Kat offers advice ranging from making a great connection on first dates to who to message back and how.
Kat’s coaching services walk clients through four basic aspects of finding and keeping a lifelong love: Dating readiness, dating skills development, active dating, and relationship upkeep.
“I systematized my knowledge and experience in a format I could share with others,” Kat explained, “so they can meet the right people and co-create a relationship like the one I am in today.”
According to Kat’s dating method, finding your ideal match can go a lot faster if you know yourself and know what you’re looking for. In her personal coaching, she helps her clients understand their emotional triggers, attachment styles, and relationship goals, so they can confront any internal obstacles holding them back.
An extensive initial assessment, a compatibility quiz based on psychological factors of romantic love, and other structured exercises give Kat deep insight into any issues or patterns she can address. This initial stage is all about preparing her clients to enter the dating world with higher self-esteem, greater self-knowledge, and realistic expectations.
Clients also learn to identify desirable traits in an ideal partner and screen for shared values, goals, red flags, and what she calls green lights. “Knowing what to look for makes all the difference in finding someone who’s stable, dateable, emotionally available, and ready to commit.”
Being content where you’re at is an important part of dating readiness. Kat’s Single Life Fulfillment Coaching helps people find fulfillment and happiness regardless of relationship status. “Being happy with yourself helps you attract others and make better choices,” Kat said. “It also helps you navigate the dating process with more confidence.”
Body language is a key factor in flirtation, and Kat can tell singles what to look out for and how send the right signals to a love interest. By role playing dates, she’ll also provide detailed evaluations on relevant first-date strengths and weaknesses.
“I thought I was conveying confidence, but I realized I was conveying unapproachability,” wrote Jacklynn Little, a former client who’s now married. “[Kat] helped me soften the edges in order to send more specific signals… thanks for helping me to portray myself the way I wanted to!”
“I empower my clients to better manage the dating process,” Kat told us, “by mastering timing, pacing, communication, and other interpersonal skills.”
Other topics covered include conversational skills, overcoming nerves and shyness, triggering attraction, assessing long-term compatibility, and avoiding the friend zone.
The next step in Kat’s dating plan is actually going out there and dating. She recommends narrowing down the dating field to specific places where her clients are most likely to meet eligible and compatible people. For example, if you’re into sports, she might suggest joining a coed intramural team or outdoor adventure group. If you like arts and culture, go to book reaings, take courses, or volunteer with arts events. Such target-rich environments, as Kat calls them, create more opportunities to meet someone with your hobbies and interests.
“Kat has amazing gut instincts. She’s able to quickly diagnose a problem and suggest ideas to overcome it.” — Mike Aoki, a former Dating Essentials client who’s now married and a father
For online daters, Kat offers curated screening services to weed through the rejects in your inbox and deliver potential partners selected for their compatibility. From reviewing your texts to accompanying you to a social event, Dating Essentials offers personalized assistance to make dating less work and more fun.
Finally, the last step in Kat’s dating regimen involves relationship readiness. She knowledgeably directs daters on what to do to keep their relationships strong in the long run. She told us that some clients, once in committed relationships, loop back around to her for follow-up consults when they’re feeling unsure of how to sustain a dynamic and satisfying connection for years to come.
“Staying connected, healthy communication, resolving conflict, balancing needs, keeping the romance alive — these are all things many of us struggle with,” Kat told us. “Once we learn how to handle all these areas with openness and flexibility, the walls come down and people fall more deeply in love.”
For more than a decade, Dating Essentials has provided comprehensive assistance to daters in search of long-term love and happiness. Through general dating tips and one-on-one coaching sessions, Kat empowers people to take practical steps toward attracting and keeping a suitable partner.
In a four-step dating toolkit, Kat imparts essential interpersonal skills based on her psychological knowledge and successful dating history. This experienced coach gives constructive feedback about dating behaviors like generating attraction, creating a memorable first impression, developing rapport, putting others at ease, and reading between the lines.
She encourages daters to feel more confident in themselves, attract compatible dates, and sustain healthy long-term relationships.
Robert’s love story shows the life-changing effect Kat’s coaching can have for singles unsure about how to get out there and find a fulfilling relationship. Robert emphatically recommended Dating Essentials to shy daters like himself, saying, “For me, the slogan ‘Try it, you might like it’ changed to ‘I tried it and found my soulmate.'”
“So many of my clients are married with children now,” she said. “It’s so gratifying to see them meet the right person, fall in love, and maintain that relationship over time. Every client’s success is very important to me. Everyone deserves love. I’m honored to be their trusted partner in finding it.”