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|Hayley Matthews • 8/01/17|
The Short Version: Relationships take work. A healthy partnership requires daily attention and upkeep to stay fulfilling and meaningful throughout the years. For those days when love runs dry or intimacy seems out of reach, Kyle Benson, a seasoned relationship coach, offers couples a tuneup. His online articles and Skype therapy sessions promote intentional intimacy strategies proven effective by psychological research. Kyle suggests daily exercises and talking points to empower couples to come closer together by fostering a loving mindset, passionate sex life, and constructive communication.
Today, Kyle Benson is a successful relationship coach confident in his knowledge of the ways of love. However, his insights didn’t come easy. In his youth, he endured a series of unhealthy relationships, culminating in his long-term girlfriend cheating on him, a life event that left him feeling overwhelming anxiety in subsequent intimate situations.
According to his personal bio, “Love has been the worst war I have ever fought.” Try as he might to win the approval and affection of his girlfriends, the people he chose to date just weren’t emotionally available to him. These insecure attachments made Kyle sick. Literally. He lost 30 pounds in six weeks, wound up in the hospital, and spent years working his way back to good health.
He wanted to get to the root of the problem, so he began reading about relationships. Then he started blogging about relationships, and eventually he began working with the Gottman Institute, a leading organization coaching couples on how to keep love strong throughout the years.
Finally, Kyle established himself as an authority on intimacy and branched out to conduct intensive couple therapy sessions via Skype. Now clients come to him from around the world for help reconnecting with a partner. Kyle’s practical and empathetic relationship coaching relies on his own relationship experiences as well as evidence-based psychological research.
Driven to correct common dating and intimacy mistakes, Kyle has built a hub of online resources for couples in crisis. Want to know how strong your love is? You can take the True Love Quiz to analyze how your actions, thoughts, and feelings influence your relationships. In just 20 questions, Kyle gets to the heart of what it means to be truly in love for decades to come.
“I can help couples step out of their comfort zones and really connect with one another,” he said. “For me, it’s all about being intentional and making your relationship a priority.”
In a prolific blog, Kyle explores how romantic bonds can grow or wane over time — and what individuals can do to reinforce their connection with a committed partner. His focus is on intentional and profound intimacy, which he believes is necessary for healthy relationships. From practicing conflict resolution to maintaining passionate sex lives, he gives concrete tips on how couples can improve their daily interactions and gain more satisfaction from the relationship.
“Just in one week, my sex life has turned a complete 180,” wrote Kayla P. in a testimonial. The 27-year-old woman took Kyle’s advice and talked to her husband about how to improve their relationship. “He’s opened up to me so much,” she said. “You really made a difference.”
“There is value to realizing that when choosing a long-term partner, you are choosing a set of problems you’ll be grappling with for the next 10, 20, or even 50 years.” — Kyle Benson in “Even Your Soulmate Will Cause Relationship Problems”
Kyle’s thorough investigation of dating topics, like how to find your soulmate, helps readers understand the basic principles of good relationships and what it takes to maintain a relationship in the long run. His conclusions are grounded in psychological research findings, which add credibility to his advice.
“Research is really important,” Kyle maintained. “It’s easy to say ‘this method or treatment works,’ but if it’s not backed by research, you don’t really know how effective a solution is.”
“The belief that relationship success should not need effort robs relationships of the fire they need to burn.” — Kyle Benson in “If Love Requires Effort, Was It Meant to Be?”
You can take a look at Kyle’s selection of his best articles here. Whether he’s discussing the psychology of relationships or the root of marital conflicts, Kyle approaches sensitive topics with thoughtful analysis and compassionate encouragement. His guidance often inspires readers to change negative dating patterns or work on intimacy issues so they can enjoy happier and healthier relationships.
“After reading your ‘Most Toxic Relationships of All’ and ‘Why Insecure People’ articles, I realized that my relationship was toxic,” one reader named Terra M. said in a testimonial. “I’m starting to redefine my standards and the way I behave within my relationships. Things aren’t as crazy, and I’m happier.”
Kyle’s counsel isn’t meant as a quick fix but a long-term strategy for relationship success. He coaches couples on how to push past their boundaries and bridge emotional distances through proactive steps.
If you’re serious about building intimacy with your partner, you can take his Intimacy 5 Challenge, which includes exercises intended to help couples reconnect. Every week, hundreds of couples take up the challenge. By practicing these intense, emotional interactions together, and discussing how they made you feel, couples train themselves to feel comfortable being close to each other. It takes concerted effort, according to Kyle, to foster love day in and day out.
“When you fall in love, you think everything is going to be great forever, but that’s not true,” he told us. “If you stop connecting, stop going on dates, and stop putting your relationship first, the love and romance is going to fade.”
Through guided exercises, Kyle’s Intimacy 5 Challenge gives you the tools to reconnect with a partner on a deep emotional level. At the end of the day, it’s all about giving someone your undivided attention and making an effort to give understanding, support, and love without reservation.
“Initially, it’s difficult and scary to become closer to someone,” Kyle acknowledged, “but it just takes practice. The couples I’ve worked with have said they find my intimacy exercises challenging and helpful.”
Over the years, Kyle has received many glowing testimonials from the people he has helped. “After a few sessions with you, I noticed a shift in my ability to honestly attract high-quality people,” wrote Matt S. from Houston. “I can’t believe how small shifts in my beliefs can make such a big change in my life!”
Kyle’s relationship coaching sessions often involve intense or heated discussions as he tries to get couples to open up and talk about what their issues are and where they come from. He mediates a constructive discussion on how to rebuild a friendship, deal with conflict, and how couples can share one another’s lives in productive and meaningful ways.
As someone who has overcome dating challenges himself, Kyle can relate to his clients’ struggles and offers clear-cut solutions backed by years of study and research. His emotional guidance leads singles and couples to a more positive frame of mind.
“I don’t think a word exists to describe how grateful I am to you and the sense of happiness you have instilled in me.” — Alia S., one of Kyle Benson’s clients
To illustrate the remarkable transformations he sees in his clients, Kyle told us about one married couple dealing with anger issues. Heated arguments became how this husband and wife communicated their frustrations and fears. In their first therapy session with Kyle, they sat on opposite ends of the couch with their body language turned inward. “You could see that they were closed off from one another,” Kyle remembered.
The experienced relationship coach delved into what past issues stood between them and how they could develop healthier communication patterns. By their sixth session, the couple sat next to each other on the couch, holding hands and giving each other loving glances.
“It was a beautiful experience,” Kyle said, “and that’s what makes it so worthwhile for me. It brings me so much joy to see my clients reconnecting with one another.”
From a lovesick kid to an authoritative dating expert, Kyle Benson’s journey offers an inspiring lesson for anyone feeling trapped in a toxic relationship or alone in their relationship struggles. The way to getting better is by knowing better. Over the years, the relationship coach has studied what brings people together (and what can tear them apart) so he can teach couples fundamental strategies to make their love last for years to come.
On his website, Kyle’s in-depth relationship resources guide singles and couples with research-driven analysis and actionable solutions. In couples therapy sessions, his detail-oriented approach often leads to intense, introspective conversations between married couples hoping to rekindle their romance. Through every article, exercise, and individual session, Kyle focuses on constructive ways to build intimacy intentionally and wholeheartedly.
According to Kyle, many couples wait about six years after a problem arises to address it. And, by then, it may already be too late. “Whether you come to me or someone else, I believe we need to start to evaluate relationships and make positive changes sooner,” the relationship expert said. “I want to tell anyone facing tough relationship problems — start to seek help now.”