Follow Up After A First Date

Men's Dating

3 (Easy) Ways to Follow Up After a First Date

Thomas Edwards

Written by: Thomas Edwards

Thomas Edwards

Thomas Edwards is the founder of The Professional Wingman, a social strategy consultancy with a focus on helping professional, single men develop better social skills to improve their lifestyle and romantic relationships with women. A leading expert in dating and lifestyle development, peers, colleagues and media have deemed him the "real-life Hitch." Thomas' knowledge and unique approach have received attention from more than 300 media outlets, including features in Men's Health, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, Playboy, the New York Times, People and MTV.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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So you made it through the first date. You two had an awesome time and maybe even shared a kiss at the end of the night. Overall, all is good in the world.

So how do you make sure you get that second date?

One of the biggest things that can derail your momentum with a potential relationship is waiting too long to follow up (you do follow up, right?) or doing the wrong thing. It’s easy to let the nerves or the feelings get to your head.

Here are three simple and effective ways to follow up after a first date that will not only keep you in the driver’s seat but also set you up for that second date:

1. Get Her to Text You Right After the Date 

I’m starting off with the “game-changer.” A lot of times we get caught up in who should text who first and when. Many times guys think if they text too soon, they might be seen as desperate or too needy — even though that is far from the truth.

If you end up in a situation where you can’t drop her off at home and have to part ways with her, ask her to text you when she gets home so you know she got back safely.

Her text to you will not only break the ice as to who should text who, but it gives a very good excuse to respond to her right away. And make sure you do respond.

From there, the anxiety about when to text her will naturally go away.

2. Follow Up Within 24 Hours

We live in a world of infinite choice. And with infinite choice, comes infinite distraction. And with infinite distraction, comes instant gratification.

With online dating being a part of most people’s dating lifestyles, you have to assume you aren’t the only viable candidate trying to win her affection.

If you wait too long to reach out to her, it’ll give her a chance to consider the many other guys trying to get her attention. It’ll also indicate to her that you aren’t being too serious about her potential as a possible partner.

Following up with her within the next 24 hours will keep you on her mind and give you a better chance to fit in her busy schedule for a second date.

3. Call Her

Many experts and other people reading this will disagree with this one, mainly because of the “excuse” that most people would rather text in today’s world of modern dating, but there is no real excuse to justify not using the phone.

While those may be valid points, you’re looking for subtle ways to stand out from every other guy campaigning for her love, and I can virtually guarantee you that her previous date did not call her.

Don’t be afraid to chat with her over the phone. The high-school nature will give it a very romantic feel that she may love. If she doesn’t answer, you can leave a voicemail, letting her know you had a great time and would love to see her again.

If she’s interested, worst-case scenario is she’ll tell you she prefers texting over chatting on the phone and you can use that platform to communicate with her moving forward.

Either way, the gesture and effort won’t go unnoticed.

In dating, it’s the details that will get you from being “the guy I went out with once” to “the guy who changed my life.” Take advantage of all of them and you’ll have an express pass to that second date — and maybe more.

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