I Want to Invite Her Out with My Friends. What Are the Negatives of This Approach?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while now. Recently I met someone. It’s only been a couple of days of texting and talking on the phone, but we’ve both said we have a really good feeling about us.

We’re trying to set up a first date. Unfortunately, our schedules this week are off. I’m wondering if it’s OK to invite her out with my friends.

What are the negatives of this approach other than we won’t get to talk as much one on one?

-J. (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear J.,

First off, exchanging a few texts and phone calls shouldn’t make your hopes soar. At the beginning of an online interaction, everyone is on their best behavior and saying everything they can to make the person like them.

My suggestion is always to do a quick “drive by date,” say a coffee somewhere. If you like what you see, then the second meeting should really be the first date.

And to meet with friends is an excellent idea. Have her bring a friend, too. Take the pressure off. You really don’t know if you are truly interested yet.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.