I Want to Invite Her Out with My Friends. What Are the Negatives of This Approach?

I Want To Invite Her Out With My Friends What Are The Negatives Of This Approach
Updated:
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

Reader Question:

I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while now. Recently I met someone. It’s only been a couple of days of texting and talking on the phone, but we’ve both said we have a really good feeling about us.

We’re trying to set up a first date. Unfortunately, our schedules this week are off. I’m wondering if it’s OK to invite her out with my friends.

What are the negatives of this approach other than we won’t get to talk as much one on one?

-J. (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear J.,

First off, exchanging a few texts and phone calls shouldn’t make your hopes soar. At the beginning of an online interaction, everyone is on their best behavior and saying everything they can to make the person like them.

My suggestion is always to do a quick “drive by date,” say a coffee somewhere. If you like what you see, then the second meeting should really be the first date.

And to meet with friends is an excellent idea. Have her bring a friend, too. Take the pressure off. You really don’t know if you are truly interested yet.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See Dr. Wendy's full bio »

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