How Men Want You to Flirt

I love flirting. It’s so much fun! It’s playful and provocative and makes you feel good.

But sometimes, as a woman, it can be confusing. You’re getting conflicted reports of “Make Him Come to You” and “It’s the New Millennium. Go Get Him!”

If you don’t go flirt with him, he may never get up the courage to come talk to you. If you do go flirt with him, is it going to come across as too forward?

So what is the right answer? Short answer: all of it, but do it correctly.

It’s totally OK to go up and flirt with a cute guy you see, but make sure you do it the best way possible. Just follow this little guide and you’ll be just fine!

If you see a guy you think is cute, it’s totally fine to go up and talk to him, but make sure you allow him some room to chase you. We always value more what we have to earn than what is simply handed to us.

So go talk to him, and then after a bit say, “Hey, I’m going to go back and talk to my friends (or a different bar). Come talk to me later if you want.”

This accomplishes a couple of things. First, it gives him the opportunity to come and chase you down later and actually put an effort toward seeing you again.

Second, it shows you are cool and interesting enough to have other stuff going on. Lastly, it lets him know you’ll be open to talking to him again, which will make it much easier for him to approach you later.

“Remember you’re on a

date, not an interview.”

But we value much different things. Men are men. We like to think we are strong, handy, talented, well-hung and super handsome. Yes, we know we self-delude, but we’re not the only sex that does!

Anyway, these are OUR buttons. Ask us to carry something for you and exclaim how strong we are. Tell us you’re helpless and need us to come over to help you hang a picture.

Even exaggerations are fun and OK like, “Excuse me, I heard there was an expert woodworker in here with a helluva golf swing. Would that be you?”

Meanwhile, he once made a lamp that sorta works and he’s gone mini-golfing a few times – doesn’t matter. Makes us feel like the king!

In the workplace, women usually use more masculine characteristics: boldness, assertiveness, strong handshake, authoritative tone. These are all good things.

The problem arises when you use the same traits on a date. We don’t want a cutthroat prosecutor on a date. We want “Emily.” Tap back into the you that is more feminine.

By NO means does this mean to dim your star in any way! Just turn off the work part of you. Don’t shake his hand. Give him a kiss on the cheek. Don’t plan the dates. Let him plan them, even if he’s not a good planner. Be softer, caring.

Believe me, I know how hard this can be after many years in the workforce, especially in here in New York City!

Just remember you’re on a date, not an interview.