Is No Sex The New Sex

Women's Dating

Is No Sex the New Sex?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Social trends come and go, but they usually arise in response to something.

Case in point, the emergence of “born-again virgins” in response to our current high-supply sexual economy, where sex is cheap and commitment is hard to find.

So no sex, or “slow sex,” is the new sex. This means delaying the onset of the sexual relationship until an emotional bond and trust can be established.

In a world of Facebook messages, sext messages, and online relationships, sometimes we need to slow down and actually develop deep connections and real relationships.

Taking it slow and saying no will purge potential partners who are reluctant to commit to monogamous relationships.

So how is it done?

1. Throw out your cell phone (not literally).

Be extra aware of how you use digital communication to maintain a relationship.

Build a relationship based on communication by face and voice, not texts and emails. You’ll be able to build a genuine relationship based on trust and good communication.

And yes, you can train a man to call instead of text.

“Saying no to sex early on will help

you build a healthy attachment.”

2. Hold off on sex.

It sounds rough, but holding off on the sexual relationship will leave you with much more positive relationship outcomes.

Research indicates that couples who hop into bed within 30 days of meeting have only a 10% chance of still being together one year later.

Couples who jump into bed together right away don’t take the time to build an emotional bond, the glue that keeps couples going steady.

3. Your relationship needs and boundaries.

It’s important to clearly define what you expect from your romantic relationships so you don’t agree to terms you’re not on board with.

Knowing what you’re looking for will help you define boundaries and find ways to make compromises in your relationships.

Opening up about your relationship expectations is also a good way to build trust.

Taking it slow and saying no to sex early on will help you build a healthy, secure attachment to a new relationship partner.

It will also help weed out all the “players,” people of both genders who are only interested in sex and have no desire to engage in a committed, exclusive relationship.

It’s difficult due to our highly sexualized dating culture — thanks to the media and porn — but it’s not impossible.

Slow love will save you from heartbreaks, STDs, unwanted pregnancy, and help you purge toxic junk food relationships.

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