Organic Ways To Meet Lesbians

Lesbian Dating

12 Organic Ways to Meet Lesbians In Real Life (Expert Tips)

Pamela Gort

Written by: Pamela Gort

Pamela Gort

After two long-term relationships and five years of dating, Pamela Gort, The Lesbian Love Coach, spent years synthesizing the most effective and relevant dating and relationship practices into five easy steps called “Find Her and Keep Her" specifically tailored for lesbians. Using her warm, funny, direct coaching style, Pamela guides single lesbians to fall in love with themselves so they can attract and keep conscious, lasting, and loving relationships.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Lesbians make up roughly 7% of the population. Although I have often heard the number is 10% — and I like this more. Just know that there are over 20 million lesbians in the United States and there’s at least one waiting for you. A 2022 Gallup poll concluded that 7.1% of adult Americans identified as LGBT. Lesbians are everywhere, so chances are there are many in your city or town. You may even know some who aren’t yet out. 

Do you have any idea how many different ways there are to meet lesbians without using an app or logging into a dating site? Most people don’t because of how popular online dating websites have become. Of course, a woman can find so many dating sites and apps that work for single lesbians. Match is one of the oldest and best out there:

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If you’re not into dating sites and Facebook, it can be hard to find lesbians in real life. In a fantasy world, we want eligible lesbians to come knocking on our door. In reality, we have to find them where they hang out and that often takes some effort. Here are some simple ways to meet like-minded lesbians without having to use a dating app or go online.

1. Lesbian Bars

Lesbian bars still exist in the US and Canada, especially in big cities, although they are fewer than they were a decade ago.  Bars can be a safe place to meet other lesbians in an organic way. Some bars are more focused on lesbians, while others welcome all women regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. 

A popular place to find like-minded women at a bar is at the pool table; this gives you a chance to chat with strangers and get to know them before deciding whether you want to exchange numbers or go home together later. Nowadays with more openness, there are many other places to find lesbians hanging out in public.

2. Your Friends Can Introduce You to Lesbians

Most people today tend to have a few lesbian and gay friends. If you’re lucky enough to have a lot of friends who are lesbians, you could start with them. Your closest friends will be able to tell you where the cool lesbian events are happening. And it’s possible that they may know someone they want to introduce you to. Tell those friends you are ready to date and are looking for some introductions.

3. Join a Sports team or Become their Cheerleader

If you’re a woman who enjoys physical activities, there are tons of lesbian groups you can join to meet other lesbians through sport. Women can join sports such as softball, tag football, soccer, basketball, rugby, and even pickleball. These are all great ways to develop friendships with like-minded women who share similar interests and passions in your community. There are also lesbian teams that play specific sports such as tennis and golf — just do a little research online for what might be for you. You can even find lesbian pickup games or lesbian pickup basketball — if you’re feeling adventurous! Even if you are not interested in playing, show up to support the team and you might join them for pizza and beer after the games. 

4. Look for Lesbian Meetups or Clubs With Your Interests

If you have an interest in things like LGBTQ+ culture, politics, or social justice, look for meetups in your area. For example, you could look for a lesbian politics meetup to find people who share your views on important social issues.  There are now in-person meetups for lesbians who love beer, lesbians who meditate, lesbians who hike or stand up paddle and so much more.  A coffee shop meetup could be a nice casual way to meet lesbian ladies.

Photo of lesbian women
Local meetups are a great way to make friends and expand your social network in person!

If you are into personal growth and career enhancement, many cities like New York and San Francisco have Gay Toastmasters where you can improve your leadership and communication skills. Again, like Facebook, these meetup groups can be geographic or interest based.  Some meetups are still on Zoom since Covid and give you an opportunity to get to know a woman online before you make a move to meet in person.

5. Check out Facebook Groups

Facebook has a bunch of groups specifically for lesbians and bisexual women. Many are designed to attract certain age ranges. There are groups for Lesbians over 50. Lesbians over 40 , Sober Lesbians, Witty Lesbians With Humor and even Evolving Lesbians. Search groups using the keyword “lesbian” and you will find groups in your city or state.  You can join these communities or even create your own to meet other women in your area.

Now I know you might be saying “but this is online.” Yes, it is. This is a starting point for an in-person meeting. You may start some banter with a single woman or notice their witty repartee and comment.  Spend some time checking out their comments and getting to know them. Are they your kind of person? Before you know it, you’re chatting on the phone and then perhaps meeting them. It’s a good idea to find out where they live to see if this connection will make sense for you. Maybe she’s interested in a move. The group administrator may ask new people to introduce themselves and where they are from. Rather than joining every lesbian group, get active in one or two groups which share your values and see if a new person piques your interest.

6. Attend an LGBTQ+ Annual Gala or Celebration

Lesbians, just like any other LGBTQ+ person, have a community of people you can meet in your own hometown. There are around 300 LGBTQ+ gala events happening in the United States each year. These events often run $100/ticket and are fundraisers for LGBTQ+ organizations. They are an opportunity to dress up, be seen, and meet the movers and shakers in your community.  Heck, you might even find some lesbian friends at these events who happen to live nearby. 

7. Volunteer at an LGBTQ+ Event

What better way to meet lesbian women than by volunteering at a LGBTQ+ gala? Many LGBTQ+ charities and organizations hold galas throughout the year that are perfect for meeting folks new to your area. You’ll have the opportunity to network with others, find out what they’re passionate about, and get an inside look at interesting groups in your community.  You’ll get to rub elbows with the organizers, and you’ll make someone’s day by helping the organization meet their goals!

8. Volunteer at your Local LGBTQ+ Center

This is an easy one. The LGBT community has a lot of volunteer opportunities, and chances are you’ll find at least one lesbian volunteering her time at the LGBT center near you. If you volunteer weekly or monthly at the reception area, imagine how many lesbians you’ll meet who are coming to check out the center’s services and events. If you value giving back to the community, you will meet other lesbians who value giving back too.  This is a fabulous way to meet a like-minded lesbian who shares her talents with the community. Wouldn’t she make a wonderful friend or maybe even more? 

9. Attend LGBTQ+ Center Events

LGBTQ+ Centers are a good place to start because they host specific events that cater to lesbians. Some have coming out groups, single discussion groups, wellness talks and more. Depending on how large your city is and how strong the organization, there will be different types of services and events offered.  Game night, coffee talk, dinners and fundraisers are just a few of the social events. They feature events for women and men alike, but you may want to focus on attending one that’s specifically for lesbians. Better yet, get to know some of the guys and have them introduce you to their lesbian friends.

10. Attend a Lesbian Festival or Pride Weekend

Lesbian festivals are a great way to have a ton of fun and meet lesbians from all over the world. Some are free or low cost and some cost more with travel, parties, and accommodations.  Most of the organizers will have booths set up so they can answer any questions you may have about their community and what it offers.  The best known festivals are usually over a long weekend and include pool parties, evening dances, comedy shows, concerts and more.  

The most popular festivals are The Dinah in Palm Springs, California, in September, Back Lot Bash, Chicago, in June, and Women’s Week and Single Women’s Weekend in Provincetown, Massachusetts, in October. If you are looking for love on any continent, The Outing in Clare, Ireland, held in February is inclusive LGBTQ+  with Music, Arts & Matchmaking Festival launched way back in 2013. 

Photo of a woman with a rainbow flag
You might find several Pride events within range of your hometown. Make a vacation out of it.

Besides the party circuit and concerts, there are LGBTQ+ film festivals, ski weekends, and amusement park events (Disney and Six Flags) for our communities.

Pride Events around the world, many of which are held in June, are a fabulous way to be surrounded by lesbians. Go to the parade, dykes on bikes, and the festival.

11. Attend Lesbian Music Concerts

Lesbians love lesbian musicians, and you are guaranteed to meet other lesbians at these concerts. I annually attend the Indigo Girls concert in my city and can always count on seeing mostly lesbians there. Lesbian music concerts are a great way to meet new friends in your community and make connections with women who could be potential partners without the pressure of lesbian dating apps

12. Go Outside With Pride (Wear Rainbows!)

An easy way to stand out personally is by wearing lesbian symbol T-shirts, tattoos, or LGBTQ+ organization logos.  Look out for women wearing them too as this is usually a sign that she is announcing she is a lesbian. If she has the HRC logo on her car, it’s a pretty good indication that she’s into the LGBT community somehow. It doesn’t matter what her sexual orientation is, you can simply ask her about it to start a conversation! We lesbians have great gaydar so when it gets pinged, pay attention…Lesbians ahead. 

Wherever You Go, You Can Meet Single Lesbians

Now that you realize lesbians are everywhere and it’s not so difficult to find them, use these tips to expand your circle of women for friendship and more. You are not required to use online dating to find your mate. She could be at the next Lesbians Who Hike Meet-Up right around the corner.

Open your mind and your sphere to the fact that lesbians are everywhere, and then your type of woman is just waiting for you to come find her IRL. Happy Dating and Happy Love.

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