Appropriate And Inappropriate Online Conversations

Men's Dating

Appropriate and Inappropriate Online Conversations

Lauren Hostert

Written by: Lauren Hostert

Lauren Hostert

Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

One of the most exciting things about online dating is the variety of different kinds of people you can meet. Chatting online, with its anonymity and lack of social cues to take from, can sometimes be tricky. While it can be a little awkward, don’t let it turn you completely off. Here are a few tips to keep your online conversations appropriate.

1. Don’t get too personal.

Try to think of your online conversations as a first date. The facelessness of the Internet can sometimes make you feel comfortable to be a little over personal, but keep in mind that you just met the girl. If you wouldn’t say it over muffins and a latte, don’t say it online.

If you find yourself beginning conversations with things like “Well, after my fiance died” or “After I beat my meth addiction,” you might want to take a step back. Sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re making someone uncomfortable when you can’t see their face.

Take your lead from her. If she feels comfortable being a little candid about her past, then it’s OK to dig a little deeper. Otherwise, stick to lighter subjects.

2. Keep it PG-13.

Remember the first date rule and try to keep your conversations from sounding like “Loveline.” It’s cool to tell her she’s pretty, but don’t let it get inappropriate. When you can’t see someone’s face, it’s possible to really offend them without realizing.

You also might catch her with subject matter offensive for where she is. Keep in mind, you might be alone in your bedroom but she could be working late that night. Not that anyone plays on their computer at work. Compliments are nice, but lean towards courtly instead of crude.

When in doubt, ask her about herself and her interests. Tell her about yours. Find something in common. Keep your thoughts on her banging bod to yourself until a more appropriate time. Also, watch your language! Don’t forget that you haven’t met this person and they don’t know your sense of humor or intonation. Heed your mama and mind your manners.

3. Be yourself.

You’ve been hearing it since kindergarten because it’s true. Don’t forget that the goal of online dating is an offline relationship, so don’t present yourself as someone you’re not. Present your best self while you still have the luxury of a backspace key. Just make it your real self.

If you’re funny, be funny. Don’t try to pull a Cyrano de Bergerac thing. It didn’t work on “Growing Pains,” and it’s not going to work for you. A lot of people, male and female, tend to embellish the truth a little when talking online. People do it on first dates, too. Just make sure you don’t embellish yourself beyond recognition.

Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.