Tri State Dating Service Realistic Matchmaker John Holt Gives Honest Feedback

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Tri-State Dating Service: Realistic Matchmaker John Holt Gives Honest Feedback to Singles Seeking the Real Deal

Amber Brooks

Written by: Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major in college, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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The Short Version: Professional matchmaker John Holt established Tri-State Dating Service in 1992 to support and connect singles living in the Northeast. With a straight-up coaching style and realistic matchmaking practices, John engenders a great deal of trust in the single men and women with whom he works. He applies his analytical mind to the dating world to bring people together in a way that makes sense. Over the decades, John has coached hundreds of people to their happily-ever-afters by promoting time-tested dating strategies. If you’re serious about your search for “The One,” you can become a member of Tri-State Dating Service to get solid advice and date recommendations from a down-to-earth dating expert.

After working in human services for 12 years, John Holt developed strong people skills and enjoyed working with people and building personal connections. But it wasn’t until he met his wife through a matchmaker that he realized what his calling in life was.

When he fell in love on an arranged date, John experienced firsthand what a difference a professional dating expert could make in people’s lives. He wanted to do that for other people. So, in 1992, he started his own matchmaking business, Tri-State Dating Service, to serve singles in Rhode Island, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New York.

Photo of John Holt, Founder of Tri-State Dating Service

In 1992, John Holt founded Tri-State Dating Service to help singles date successfully.

John’s business model emphasizes realistic matchmaking, meaning he maintains high ethical standards and doesn’t overpromise or oversell what he can do for his clients. You can call (800) 252-6210 to find out more in a private consultation.

As a matchmaker, John earns the trust of his clients by being honest, dependable, and astute when arranging dates and giving feedback. As a dating coach, he takes a personal interest in honing the dating skills of his clients so they’re ready to meet that special someone.

“Anybody in this business ought to be in it for the right reasons,” he said. “And that’s helping people. I’ve been running Tri-State Dating Service all by myself for 25 years to help people understand how to succeed in life.”

John also hosts a radio show called Networking Singles where he tackles everyday life issues, including positive relationship building, human accountability, dating culture, and communication strategies. Whether he’s explaining the chemistry of attraction or the dynamics of human behavior, John offers a logical and knowledgeable perspective on how to succeed in love and life. “If you’re really good at life, you’re going to be attractive to people,” he said. “My show is all about life.”

“I highly recommend that everyone listen to the Networking Singles radio show,” wrote Dr. Robin Siebold, a professional counselor. “He walks with you every step of the way, gently and informatively. Your life will be enriched.”

Promoting Personality-Focused Matches & Reasonable Expectations

The Tri-State Dating Service helps daters navigate the dating scene by putting a lot of time and effort into arranging compatible dates. It’s an in-depth and personality-focused process.

First, John pre-screens potential clients to see if his dating services are a good fit. From the outset, John is honest about his expectations and his ability to help singles. Sometimes, after talking with a potential client, he realizes his matchmaking isn’t what they truly need. For example, one woman was just looking to meet people and expand her social network, so John told her Meetup would be the fastest way to connect with people.

According to the website’s about page, “This brand is in place because it is all about successes and eliminating failure.”

Photo of the Tri-State Dating Service logo

John makes sure his clients know what they can reasonably expect from his services.

Generally, John takes on adult clients looking for love. The average client age is about 38 to 65, but he told us he’s seen people as young as 27 and as old as 85. For him, personality and lifestyle matters more than age. He focuses on bringing on clients who are self-aware and relationship-oriented.

When the date is over, John follows up and gives his advice about the next steps. He makes himself available to answer any questions and making the dating process easier for singles. His straight answers and tough love often give singles the push they need to find success in the dating world.

“I’m very feedback-oriented,” he told us. “I’m available to talk at length to clients to learn what’s going on and help them through their frustrations with dating.”

Intimate Dinner Parties Bring Clients Together in a Social Setting

John knows that not everyone excels in a one-on-one, high-pressure date. The conversation can feel like an interview, and some singles just don’t like meeting new people that way. So, to help take the pressure off daters, he arranges dinner parties for small groups of local singles.

“Realistic matchmaking requires patience. Relationships are built over time. There are no quick fixes in dating.” — Tri-State Dating Service’s website

Typically, the parties invite six people (three men and three women) to get together at a local restaurant or bar. John hosts these special events a few times a month and carefully manages every detail of the evening. Even the location is specially selected to be central to all guests. John enjoys giving his clients the chance to mingle and relax in a singles-friendly setting.

“The advantage of going to the dinner parties is you’re talking to more people, so it’s a more judicious use of your time,” John explained. “The social aspect attracts a lot of people. It’s less intimidating that one-to-one meetings.”

Helping Singles Open Their Hearts to the Love of Their Lives

What makes John stand out as a matchmaker is his candid approach to dating. He doesn’t beat around the bush or claim to be a miracle worker. He’s straightforward about what he can do to help and what his clients could do to improve. You can read through pages of heartfelt testimonials on his website to hear what his clients have to say about his coaching and matchmaking style.

John told us one of his favorite client stories involved a single doctor living in New Haven, Connecticut. She was a selective dater with a specific vision about the type of man she was looking for. When John met with her, he knew her choosiness would be an issue for him as her matchmaker. He asked if she could live with the fact that he wouldn’t be able to promise her more than a few dates, based on what she wanted, and couldn’t guarantee that her perfect guy was in his database.

“John is more like a friend or a big brother who looks out for your well being… he will be very honest and upfront about what might be holding you back in truly meeting someone.” — Michelle, a former client from Milford, Connecticut

The woman appreciated his candor. She realized he wasn’t making a sales pitch and truly wanted to help her, so she told him she trusted him and signed up to Tri-State Dating Service. She hit it off with the second guy with whom John matched her. The single man lived in Rhode Island and, despite the distance, decided to commit to her. Months later, John got a wedding invitation from the couple.

It was a small, elegant wedding in Connecticut. In front of about 60 guests, the bride pointed John out and said, “You changed my whole life.”

“This is what I’m in the business for,” he said. “It’s not just about the money. I want to put people together, hopefully, for their happily-ever-afters.”

Tri-State Dating Service: Upfront, Hands-On Matching for Longevity

John’s analytical thinking helps him cut through the nonsense of dating and make a strategic match based on long-term compatibility. Tri-State Dating Service offers straightforward assistance for daters seeking lasting relationships. Because John has gone through the matchmaking process as a client, he empathizes with the singles he works with as a matchmaker and gives them honest feedback to help improve their chances in the dating scene.

Whether you’re looking for a dating coach who’ll tell it to you like it is or a matchmaker who will put tremendous thought into every date, Tri-State Dating Service provides much-needed guidance for singles trying to find love in the Northeast.

“We set people in the direction they need to go to actually attain their relationship goals,” John said. “We don’t fix people — we deal with them as they are and help them end up in meaningful relationships.”

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