I Have Had Failed Relationships. Will I Ever Find My Soul Mate?

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’m a 23-year-old woman. I have had failed relationships in the past and am currently single. I want to find true love but am wary of trusting people because I tend to get hurt very easily.

I work from home, reducing my chances of meeting new people. Of late, I’m beginning to get a little paranoid that I may never find my soul mate.

What should I do?


Rachel Dack’s Answer:

Hey Cynthia,

Having a past that feels heavy or unresolved is a common concern for single women who want to find love. When the past still plays out in the present, it can make the dating experience more difficult or avoided all together.

It is important to grieve any past relationships that did not go as planned, look for lessons and opportunities for personal growth and then actively work to leave the past in the past.

It also is useful to remind yourself that there are great quality men out there who will not treat you in negative ways or betray your trust. You just have to be open to meeting them and taking time to build a connection.

I also recommend changing it up a bit. If you work from home and feel this arrangement is a potential barrier to meeting new people, get involved in your community, join a group or club, try online dating or speed dating and make sure you are taking time to nurture yourself and have fun with friends and family.

Take care,


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