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Short version: Successful women who are accomplished in so many areas of life often feel confused when they aren’t successful in romance. Relationship and Dating Coach Sierra Faith believes strong women can give too much in relationships, which, in turn, creates complacent or narcissistic partners. She primarily works with women experiencing these issues, and helps them develop romantic relationships in which they are nurtured and cherished. Instead of expending energy catering to their partner’s every need, Sierra teaches women dating behaviors to help them attract those who have their best interests at heart.
Relationship and Dating Coach Sierra Faith often works with very successful women. Successful in every aspect of life except one: Romance.
“Generally, my clients are high-performance businesswomen or artists, often women who were raised by narcissistic parents,” she said. “They’re extremely capable and financially viable. They’ve done a lot of work on themselves. They’re self-reflective, and their lives work — except in love.”
But why do such successful women sometimes struggle to find a romantic connection? Sierra suggests that the same qualities that make these women so accomplished in their professional lives can hinder their ability to connect with a partner.
“A lot of women are great givers,” she said. “They’re good listeners, anticipate other people’s needs, and pride themselves on what they give, but they don’t necessarily know how to receive or relax. They don’t know how to be pleasure-centric.”
Sierra is on a mission to help her clients cultivate the ability to accept and enjoy generous masculine attention, which can lead to happier and healthier relationships.
One of the common traits Sierra sees in her clients is that many of them don’t trust men.
“Many women walk around with a guilty-until-proven-innocent attitude toward men,” she said. “And I’m not just talking about the men they’re dating; they have a bitter or cynical attitude toward all men.”
This attitude can make women misunderstand men’s needs and gifts, and become brittle, controlling or mothering to such a degree that those men lose their virility.
“A lot of my clients have been attracted to narcissistic men, or have behaved in a way that makes the non-narcissistic men they’re with more complacent,” said Sierra.
Because of their embedded beliefs, these women don’t know how to find men who are more ideal partners. To change that mentality, Sierra suggests that women need a complete neurological shift. The dramatic shift is necessary because her clients share common needs in relationships, needs that will never get met if they continue thinking and behaving as they have in the past.
“Most of my clients want the same thing: A healthy, long-term romantic relationship where the courtship never ends,” she said.
Sierra didn’t plan to become a dating coach. In fact, she didn’t know that she could build a career as a dating coach until she fell into the profession after sorting out her own dating difficulties.
“I was dating online and having a terrible time. So I started studying the work of various coaches about the stages of dating and my own dating experience radically changed as a result of that work,” she said.
When Sierra implemented the solutions she discovered, she started attracting the types of men she desired. Later, other women approached her, wanting to know how she’d turned her dating life around.
“A friend called and said, ‘Would you help me date in your new way?’” she said. “Later, she started referring clients to me. Most of my clients were high-performance women in the Bay Area.”
Many of these women had similar problems to the ones Sierra had. Some were in relationships that would quickly shift into friends-with-benefits situations. Other clients were jaded about relationships altogether.
“Over time, I realized I was developing a niche with these high-powered women who habitually overgave in their relationships,” she said.
After that epiphany, Sierra started offering more targeted advice.
“I realized there was a particular set of principles and skills I was repeatedly teaching,” she said. “And the women using them were having very different results than women who weren’t doing these things.”
Sierra’s clients have not always had successful romantic attachments, or may not be in fulfilling relationships, so she teaches them the skills to overcome their challenges.
One highly effective way she connects with these women is through her book, “Absolutely Adored: Stop Choosing Narcissistic Men and Finally Be a Well-Loved Woman.”
“It is a method for online dating that helps women who were raised by a narcissistic caregiver and taught to focus on the needs of others, or women who have been in high-powered business environments,” she said. “When they enter the dating arena with those caretaking mindsets, either generous, cherishing men avoid them, or these women refuse to receive from these man because they feel that receiving comes with a price.”
The book, then, offers women the chance to learn a different set of patterns and behaviors.
“I teach women the principles for attracting and interacting with caring, courting, chivalrous men,” she said.
Sierra encourages her clients to use online dating to practice the skills she teaches. Many of her clients are skeptical of online dating because they have tried it before with little success, but she guides them through with new processes.
“I help my clients create profiles that portray them as cherishing-worthy women. They choose the pace of this process. Along the way, there are junctures and barriers, but I coach the new behavior, and the neurological shifts begin,” she said.
At first, Sierra’s strategies seem counterintuitive to what most of her female clients have been taught.
“I coach them into behaviors that may initially feel foreign or rude to them because they have misunderstandings about the ways that men think or feel,” she said. “I stay close to them for the first three to four months, while they’re building the new skills and neural pathways. I’m their training wheels.”
Eventually, Sierra’s clients find these skill sets more comfortable and natural. Many of them even enter into long-term relationships with men who adore them. After they understand these skills, Sierra allows them to practice strategies at their own pace.
“As they move into relationships, I may only work with them once a month,” she said. “I’m available to them during all the stages of building a healthy paradigm for themselves.”
Sierra knows her methods work because she’s seen them work.
“I want to help my clients recognize and relate to men who are healthy attachments. These men like intimacy and make their partners royalty. In their relationships they offer their women understanding, communication, and reassurance,” she said. “It’s heaven.”
“Helping men and women find each other and bring out the best in each other is my superpower.” — Sierra Faith, Relationship and Dating Coach
Sierra also helps women understand the stages of dating.
“When women take the time to consciously navigate all of the stages of dating, they catalyze a lifelong romantic dynamic that’s breathtaking,” she said. “What those women tell me is that their partnership keeps getting better and better.”
As for Sierra, she takes pride in helping her clients form meaningful, healthy bonds.
“Helping men and women find one other and bring out the best in each other, is my superpower,” she said.