It takes a lot of hard work and coordination to maintain a relationship. Beyond finding common ground, shared goals, and chemistry, you need to make your lives work in tandem. For single parents, this is an especially tall order.
Single parents can’t just consider their own happiness and wellbeing in dating; they have to consider that of their children. Still, plenty of single parents make it work for their families and find ways to make time for love again.
Read on to learn how single parents actually date and what romance looks like while juggling dating with daycare.
1. Nearly 11 Million Single Parents Shape the U.S. Dating Landscape
Census data tells us that there are nearly 11 million single parents raising children in the U.S1, and 80% of one-parent households are led by single mothers.
Single parents are a fairly large group, and they make up a significant contingent of the actively dating population. In fact, single parents often date at higher rates than the general population.2 They want a stable partner. They crave connection and know things will be harder if they go it alone.
When kids are part of the equation, it becomes more important for single parents to get intentional about why they’re dating and what they’re looking for in life.
2. Nearly 2 in 3 Single Parents Fear They Won’t Find Love Again
Some people become single parents by choice, wanting to tackle parenthood on their own. But many didn’t plan on being single parents, either having kids as a surprise, getting divorced, or being widowed. In such situations, single parenthood can feel like the end of their romantic lives.
According to one survey, 63% of single parents report feeling like they’ll never find love again3.
Single parents may worry others won’t want to date them knowing they have kids. They may not want to get their heart broken again.
Becoming a single parent can be an emotionally turbulent change that leads many people to catastrophize about their romantic future.
3. Happily, 64% of Single Parents Find Love in About 1 Year
Just because single parents feel gloomy about their dating prospects doesn’t mean that their prospects are actually bad. The same study found that 64% of single parents found a new partner within 13 months on average4.
When you’re in the thick of a big life change, it’s easy to feel like your present circumstances are permanent. But life is long, and your situation can change fast. Most single parents do find love again.
4. Most Parents (62.2%) With Dependent Children Aren’t Dating
Dating as a single parent changes a lot depending on the age of your kids. For those with dependent-age children, 62.2% say they aren’t actively dating5, though some of those would be open to a relationship should one present itself.
As their kids age, more single parents get back in the dating world. It gets easier as a parent to take time for yourself when your kids are less dependent on you.
5. Just 14% of Single Parents Say Their Kids Encouraged Them to Date
Not every kid loves their stepparents, but most kids want to see their parents happy. A slim 14% of single parents say their children actually encouraged them to start dating6.
As the child of a single dad myself, I know that I was very eager for him to get in a relationship and expand our family as a kid (which he ultimately did). For some children, the prospect of adding more members to the family is actually exciting.
6. Around 4 in 10 Single Parents Worry About Their Kids’ Approval
When dating, single parents have to consider their kids’ opinions too. About 40% of single parents are worried that their kids won’t approve of their partners and factor that into their dating equation7.
It’s hard to know how much weight to give your kids’ opinions of your partners. On one hand, your relationships are ultimately up to you. Some kids may take issue with your partners simply because their presence is a change. But at the same time, bad stepparents can create tension at home or even pose a threat in extreme cases.
Make sure to have continued dialogue with your children about your family structure if you’re introducing a new person into the dynamic.
7. Only 15% of Single Parents Let Their Kids Meet a New Partner Early
One of the hardest parts of dating as a single parent is deciding when to introduce a new partner to your kids. If you wait until the relationship is very serious, it can feel too fast for your kids to adjust. But if you introduce them too early, it can be emotionally painful for your children if things don’t work out.
According to research from the University of Florida, just 15% of single parents opt to let their kids meet their partners from the start8. These parents prioritize being transparent with their children.
I’d theorize that their kids might be older as well. It’s typical for single parents to be more open with teens and older kids while only letting young kids in on serious relationships.
8. Single Mothers Are 28% More Likely to State Their Goals on Apps
Having kids puts life into a new perspective, and this is especially true of dating. When single parents start online dating, they usually have a pretty good sense of what they’re looking for. Single moms are 28% more likely to clearly state their dating goals in their profiles9.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re only looking for marriage or serious relationships on dating apps. It means they’ll be direct about what they want, no matter what that is.
9. Over Half (51%) of Single Moms Were Never Married
According to census data, 51% of single moms were never married, compared to just 41% of dads10. Single moms are more likely to become the primary guardians after an unmarried pregnancy, while dads generally become single parents through divorce.
Without the commitment and legal responsibility of a prior marriage, parenthood generally tends to fall on moms.
10. More Than a Quarter (27%) of Single Parents Wait to Have Sex
Like any other diverse group of adults, single parents have different personal boundaries when it comes to intimacy within their relationships. Some are comfortable approaching sex casually, given that they have limited time to themselves. But a sizable minority, 27% of single parents, prefer to wait until they’re in committed relationships for physical intimacy11.
For some, it’s a matter of protecting their peace and staying emotionally grounded for their kids. Others aren’t ready for sex after painful divorces. Either way, navigating intimacy as a parent is different for everyone.
11. Half of Children Under 13 Live With a Parent & Stepparent
Blended families are more common than you might think. According to StepFamily.org, half of all American children under 13 live with a biological parent and a stepparent12.
Not all single parents stay single — most eventually get into serious relationships or remarry13. If you’re a single parent, the people you choose to pursue relationships with will, more often than not, become major caretakers and trusted adults for your kids.
There are slight differences between how single parenthood generally tends to happen for moms versus for dads.
12. When Dating, 57% of Single Parents Prioritize Fun
A common misconception is that single parents are only looking for marriage. And while some single parents do want long-term relationships, 57% say they are just looking to have fun14.
Between juggling the responsibilities of work and parenting, single parents have enough seriousness in their day-to-day lives. When they go out on a date, they don’t want it to feel like a job interview. They want to enjoy themselves.
13. A Slim Majority (51%) of Single Parents Don’t Have Time for Drama
At the same time, single parents don’t have time for games. Stir found that 51% of single parents felt they had less time for drama and games in dating than they did before having kids15.
Single parents don’t want to wait by the phone or struggle through the emotional turbulence of another situationship. They need to know where they stand with the person they’re dating.
Again, it isn’t that single parents only want serious relationships. They just don’t have the time or patience for poor communication, mixed messages, and unclear expectations16.
14. A Third (35%) of Single Parents Feel More Spontaneous in Dating
Having kids makes many single parents realize that life is short, and you need to enjoy yourself when you can. In fact, 35% of single parents actually felt more spontaneous after having kids17.
When single parents have an unexpected free evening, they’re less likely to stay at home just because they didn’t already have plans. They know how to take advantage of the time they have and go for what they want18.
15. About 3 in 4 Single Parents Describe Themselves as Lonely
Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. But for many single parents, bearing the responsibility of parenting alone can feel like a lonely thing. A resounding 77% of single parents describe themselves as lonely19.
When you’re feeling lonely, try to lean on your friends and family for support before turning to new relationships. Talking to friends can ease some of that emotional load and remind you that you have people in your corner.
Your Love Life Doesn’t End After Kids
After becoming a single parent, it can be easy to assume that the romantic part of your life is over. But it absolutely doesn’t need to be.
Plenty of people find love and romance after having children, and you can too, if you want it badly enough and put in the work.
- https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2022/americas-families-and-living-arrangements.html ↩︎
- https://time.com/3425643/sex-and-single-parents-as-much-as-singles-without-children/ ↩︎
- https://www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/63-percent-single-parents-think-theyll-never-find-love-again-after-breakup-new-survey-reveals-most-do ↩︎
- https://www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/63-percent-single-parents-think-theyll-never-find-love-again-after-breakup-new-survey-reveals-most-do ↩︎
- https://www.psypost.org/study-reveals-dating-behaviors-single-parents-united-states/ ↩︎
- https://www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/63-percent-single-parents-think-theyll-never-find-love-again-after-breakup-new-survey-reveals-most-do ↩︎
- https://www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/63-percent-single-parents-think-theyll-never-find-love-again-after-breakup-new-survey-reveals-most-do ↩︎
- https://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu/divorcedremarried/dating-as-a-single-parent/single-parents-and-dating/ ↩︎
- http://doulike.com/blog/statistics/single-mother-statistics/ ↩︎
- https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2022/americas-families-and-living-arrangements.html ↩︎
- https://mtch.com/single-news/962/ ↩︎
- https://www.stepfamily.org/stepfamily-statistics.html ↩︎
- https://www.datingnews.com/daters-pulse/remarriage-statistics-in-the-u-s/ ↩︎
- https://mtch.com/single-news/962/ ↩︎
- https://mtch.com/single-news/962/ ↩︎
- https://nypost.com/2023/09/12/less-than-1-3-of-single-parents-think-dates-were-worth-it-poll/ ↩︎
- https://mtch.com/single-news/962/ ↩︎
- https://www.datingadvice.com/for-women/rachel-dealto-says-dating-can-help-single-parents ↩︎
- https://simirity.com/statistics-about-single-parent-families/ ↩︎
