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The Short Version: Life has its fair share of ups and downs — this we unfortunately all know. However, with the right help by your side, I like to think you can maneuver through anything. One common obstacle that most singles face alone is trouble within their dating lives. We all experience it, but the difference is how we go about approaching it. With help from life coach Tess Brigham, singles can learn how to navigate their dating lives with a pro by their side. Tess offers helpful workshops and courses that have the potential to take you to the next level!
Dating in your 20s can be a weird yet adventurous time to explore. People often discover what they like or don’t like during this awkward time period. Through it all, it’s best to be optimistic despite the challenges that dating can throw your way. Dating burnout is a real thing that people experience. Without the right support or mindset, singles can get lost in all the chaos.
To keep the hope alive, life coach Tess Brigham uses simple in-the-now strategies to help people overcome dating burnout. Tess is a licensed psychotherapist who aims to help her clients find the best approach to living their best life. Through a series of workshops and one-on-one sessions, Tess dives into the nitty-gritty to help her clients reach absolute dating success.
“I call my tactics ‘radically practical’ because they’re all about making big changes a little at a time, from wherever you are right now. These exercises and approaches worked for me, they work for my real-life clients, and they can work for you too,” said Tess.
Tess said she remembers once being twenty-something and having her fair share of relationship roadblocks along the way. Through her experience, she discovered a burning desire to help millennials find a path that suits them. With Tess on their side, people discover a new meaning in life. They become more equipped for the things they want to do and become better partners along the way.
“Tess helped me reorient myself to my goals so that I could move forward out of stagnation to a more fulfilling path. She focused on my specific needs and was able to provide not only her presence and dialogue but other resources that I could pursue at my leisure. Her powerful and engaging personality created an atmosphere where communication about difficult subjects flowed naturally,” said one of Tess’s clients in a testimonial.
Even though life has stressors that we, unfortunately, cannot avoid, we must make room for the things that bring us joy. Whether that’s taking a walk in a park or reading your favorite book for just an hour a day. This also applies to our dating lives. Dating sometimes can come with many trials and errors. Without the proper breaks in between failed dates, many can find themselves burnt out.
Tess said her goal is to help clients create lives they’re excited about living. But that is only accomplished through self-reflections and diving deep into talks with Tess. Scheduled one-on-one sessions with Tess help clients discover what motivates them and identify areas in their lives that need to be addressed. Oftentimes these sessions leave people feeling like they can get back into the dating game or know how to navigate through a sticky relationship situation.
Tess says a common mistake hurting singles’ dating lives nowadays is misinterpreting their relationship with people. Tess told us that the biggest thing she sees often is singles trying to make a committed relationship work with someone who doesn’t want that kind of relationship. Tess advises her clients to evaluate their dates from the get-go. Certain questions like: “Is the chemistry there?” and “Do we have the same values and are they aligned?” By asking important questions, clients avoid wasted time and get better results.
“Get honest about what you want and don’t compromise. The more time you spend on someone that doesn’t want the relationship, the harder it will be to untangle from them and the relationship,” said Tess.
Loving your dating life isn’t going to stem from having hundreds of dates but rather from staying true to what you want and being hopeful for a great outcome. All it takes is one successful date and focusing on that potential one is worth getting excited over!
It’s common to see singles going on date after date. This false idea that going through a series of dates will give you the best results is hurting singles at the end of the day. The primary cause of dating burnout is that singles fail to make time for breaks in between. Experiencing one failed date after another can get discouraging at times and will leave you feeling helpless. This is when it’s time to pause the swipes and stay in for the night.
Tess encourages her clients to take breaks between dating. Daters can get caught up in the whole idea that taking a break means you’re not being productive in your dating life, when in fact, it’s the complete opposite. Taking a pause on dating is just as productive as putting yourself out there.
“Dating is hard and it’s time-consuming and it’s OK to decide to refocus on yourself until you’re ready to start dating again,” advised Tess.
Tess also told us that she recommends her clients limit the amount of time they spend on dating apps. By limiting the time you are glued to a screen, you’ll find that your mental well-being is better overall throughout the entire process. Tess said that dating apps can create a lot of anxiety and real triggers regarding meeting that special someone. Instead of relying solely on dating apps for dating success, Tess advises people to see dating apps as a way to get in the room with people who you want to meet.
Just like a football player would need a break to adjust his game plan, so do daters. While on dating breaks, singles should take advantage of the opportunities to meet new people in casual settings and grow more confident and grounded as a person.
While on dating breaks, singles should take advantage of the time to catch up on reading relationship books that can help reshape their dating tactics. One of Tess’s favorite relationship books that she encourages clients to read is “Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg.
From the very beginning, Tess developed a calling to help young singles in their twenties on their path to life. Figuring out love while dealing with stepping into your career and living situation can be taxing on anyone. In her recent book, “True You: A Step-by-Step Guide to Conquering Your Quarter-Life Crisis” Tess talks about what every young adult needs to make the best decisions.
Tess has been labeled by CNBC as the millennial therapist solely because of the imprint she has on young people. By sharing her experiences, Tess can still connect to young singles looking for a better way of managing life.
“When I stopped worrying (so much) about the future, and paid attention to what felt right, at the moment, I quickly recognized what I liked most—what I’d liked about my time in Hollywood, and every odd job I’d held since— was helping young and motivated people find their way,” Tess told us.
We can look forward to even more great things coming from Tess in the near future. She continues to shed light on important life topics and moves people in a healthy direction. Whether you’re already burnt out from dating or on the verge of it, teaming up with Tess to tackle your life struggles is a great opportunity.
“In the end, it won’t matter if you spend 30 years or 32 years with your partner. What matters is how you’re living your life today. Go take those trips and do the fun things you want to do because at some point you’re going to miss these days,” said Tess.