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|Lauren Keys • 3/28/16|
The Short Version: Busy, professional men turn to Personal Dating Assistants as a solution to the typical online dating woes — it takes too much time for too little of a response from women. The company specializes in revamping your profile, sending personalized messages on your behalf, and getting you to real-world conversation and the first date. Outside of booking just a profile facelift, you can select the level of service based on the number of dates you want to be guaranteed each month.
At 10 p.m. you’re just getting a moment to breathe. You slump into a chair and feel your muscles begin to relax. Turning your head forms and collapses an air bubble between your neck joints — craaack. It’s time to check your online dating profiles.
For many men, there’s not enough time in the day to put in the kind of work necessary to garner a response from women. Between being too tired and too stressed, many successful men find they’re not so successful with online dating. Add to that some men just aren’t sure what the best approach is, and you can see why Personal Dating Assistants, or PDA, has become a go-to for on-the-go guys.
The PDA service “simply extends the idea of a personal assistant as used in your work life to your dating experience,” said PDA Founder Matthew Valentines.
Matthew started PDA a few years ago with the vision to outsource the repetitive nature of online dating. “A lot of people don’t realize online dating is a process, and if you want to be successful, it can be as much work as an actual job,” he said.
Not only did Matthew want to help men across the country enter the dating scene at the most interesting and relevant part — the first date — he also realized that a more personalized touch resulted in better responses.
Because online dating takes so much time and energy, PDA absorbs the process of prospecting, reaching out, and replying by providing a uniquely written profile, custom messaging, and date coaching by expert digital wingmen.
The barrage of profiles — many of which can be inactive — often results in a dating fatigue similar to when too many options actually leads to worse decision making. In this case, it can be hard to choose who to message and especially what to say over and over and over as much as it takes to get to the first date.
You sigh and type “So, what do you do for fun?” for the umpteenth time.
“I started this business because online dating is really hard,” Matthew said.
With 20 years of experience, Matthew knows that the work necessary to garner a response can lead to a monotonous, unending full-time job. So basically, his concept was to put “someone in your corner” who helps you bypass the work it takes to get to dinner and drinks by doing that work for you.
Sifting through selfie after endless selfie, you start to zero in on all your flaws: “When did that wrinkle appear? Is one ear lower than the other? Am I getting nose hair?” But you’re hoping this will be the photo to break the female silence.
Even if you feel really good about the image you’re projecting online, the professionals at PDA work to ensure your profile is flawlessly crafted to get more views and more responses.
Your assistant will jump on a call with you to get a sense of what you’re wanting out of online dating, and from there your assistant will paint a better image of you with proven keywords to attract your ideal match on the dating sites that fit your goals.
But what about your profile photo? It’s so important that PDA has statistically broken down which images have a better chance of leading to a conversation. Nearly half of the responses were to pictures where the subject was described as doing something interesting. Other big wins were travel pictures at 30% and photos where the subject was with an animal at 19%.
If you have any concerns about your photos, PDA can even book you a professional photographer to need help capturing your best side.
If sending the same message repeatedly doesn’t kill you, waiting for a response just might. However, once you and your assistant have agreed on your profile edits, they handle the prospecting and messaging for you. Better yet, they customize the messages to each match.
Many online dating coaches and assistants simply copy and paste messages to women, so potential mates are inundated with similar icebreakers day in and day out. PDA shatters that mind-numbing cycle, which results in a higher response rate.
Your dating personal assistant acts as the perfect wingman by breaking the ice with a statement that grabs her attention and illustrates you actually read her profile.
Matthew suggested the best way to stand out, in a good way, is with a sense of humor and, of course, a little flattery. If your match takes a lot of mirror selfies, he explained, an assistant may playfully call her out on it to get her talking.
After your assistant garners a response, they tend to turn up the charm to ensure you get a date while still capturing your voice.
The goal of PDA is to get her number for you as soon as possible so you can continue the conversation offline, not to get into any serious conversations that cripple the chemistry of the first date.
Once a match agrees to meet in person, you will receive her info — typically a phone number, but sometimes may include a different direct way to reach her, such as her Snapchat or Kik name.
The rest is up to you, but your PDA is on call for any date coaching you may need. If you’re not sure where to take her or how to respond to her last text, your assistant helps you smooth your game, to some extent.
Your assistant can’t hide nearby to feed you lines during your date, but don’t worry too much — no one is exactly who they are online. You just need to have enough chemistry in person to create a spark with your date.
“Online dating is a numbers game,” Matthew said. “To be successful, you need to be serious about the process.” Like hiring a real estate agent when buying a home, you need a professional to help navigate the world of online dating.
Men who quit online dating cite the time suck and the lack of responses as major contributors to their failure, but PDA has cures for both of those concerns by managing your profile, finding you matches, and handling your messaging.
“Dating is the most important thing in a person’s life,” said Matthew, so while PDA has a lot to offer those looking for casual fun, most of the men using PDA are looking for serious relationships.