Are You Ditching Your Friends For Your Date

Women's Dating

Are You Ditching Your Friends for Your Date?

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Can you relate to the feeling of being completely energized and excited about a great new guy in your life?

Maybe you have recently met or have been on several dates and you find yourself wishing you could spend every waking second together.

You hate to admit it, but you obsess about his level of contact (Why hasn’t he texted me? Should I text him?), what he is doing and when you are going to see him again.

Suddenly all of the important aspects of your life don’t seem to excite you or matter to you as much as they did prior to meeting him.

Naturally you are distracted and feel like cancelling everything on your calendar to be available to him.

Sound familiar?

There may be the urge to hold on tightly to someone you like and devote most of your time to this new guy.

In fear of letting this great guy slip away, you feel the need to give him a lot (or maybe even all) of your attention and time.

This situation is all too common and you are not alone in what you feel.

However, there are healthier ways to go about dating that will positively affect the way you feel about yourself and your growing relationship.

Warning sign ahead: Do not ditch your life for your date or new boyfriend.

Although you may enjoy your time together and long for more, you and your relationship are better off if you let things flow naturally and resist neglecting your life (friends, habits, commitments, hobbies, etc.) for him.

“Enjoy getting to know him while paying

attention to the important aspects of life.”

Here’s why:

1. Your relationship will be better.

You will build a nice and healthy balance of togetherness and separateness.

Although this can promote anxiety for some at the beginning of a new romance, it is actually incredibly valuable long term.

You will also ensure that your developing relationship is not colored by codependence.

2. It’s impossible to have your needs met by one person.

It is emotionally helpful to maintain different outlets and strategies that bring you comfort, fun and relaxation.

Being social, relaxing, getting regular exercise and eating well are all important to your well-being and mental health.

3. You will be a better, more engaged partner.

This will come from having your own life (and resist ditching it for him).

Give to yourself by doing what you love and surrounding yourself with people you connect with and you will have more to give to him and your relationship.

4. You will feel more confident.

This leads to the added benefit of being more attractive to him.

You will also show him that while you are excited about getting to know each other, you are not willing to neglect everything else.

Independence (versus clinginess) signals confidence, which is an attractive quality to possess.

5. You will avoid losing yourself.

And you avoid losing the aspects of life that bring you meaning and joy.

By continuing to work toward your own goals and dreams and staying committed to your passions and interests, you will grow individually and as a couple instead of losing yourself in your relationship.

On a final note:

Enjoy getting to know him while paying attention to all of the important aspects of your life.

Take care of yourself and avoid putting your friends, family, hobbies, commitments, needs, goals and values on the back burner for him.

Not only will you feel your best, but the people who love and care for you will appreciate it, and so will your guy if he’s a keeper!

Admit it, ladies: Have you ever ditched your friends for a guy? How did it turn out? How do you find balance in your life?

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